Checking My Privilege or Counting My Blessings
A recent request by someone to check my privilege made me realise that I've actually done this for most of my life, we just used to call it counting our blessings before this new phrase became popular. I think I prefer to be told to count my blessings as it comes across in a more positive and productive way, so will be less likely to put people on the defensive.
Everyone has to deal with adversity and challenges in life, even the richest and most "privileged" people. Death and illness don't discrminate, so at some point we will all encounter grief and sickness. An early realisation of blessings I had that others did not was not having to experience the death of someone close to me as a child. Many children have to grieve the death of a grandparent and I even had two classmates who lost a parent to cancer. It was so common to hear of the deaths of grandparents that as a child I exclaimed my surprise that an adult's grandmother was still alive. It made all the adults in the room laugh at my naivety. As it happened I was in my early 20s before I had to say goodbye to my first grandparent and I'm grateful to have had them around for so long.
Image courtesy of @lizelle
It was my father who mentioned that I had never experienced what true hunger was like. I probably didn't appreciate it being pointed out at the time while my belly was rumbling for food, but no matter how tight finances have gotten I have always had a place to call home and food to eat. Even in first world countries some children aren't lucky enough to have that.
I was born female in a time and place where I have been able to experience a level of freedom and equality that many women haven't throughout history and even in the world today.
I work as a cleaner for people with disabilities so I have regular reminders to be grateful for the health, lack of pain, for the most part (I'm getting older 😜), and mobility I retain.
While I've lived mostly on and occasionally below what is considered the poverty line for first world countries I know that I still have a far better standard of living than the majority of the population in the world and even many in my own country.
But let's not prevaricate, I realise that this call to check my privilege is to do with my skin colour in this day and age, so let's analyse that. I am white and born in a majority white country, which is to be expected when it comes down to probability, but I'm still grateful for that. Had I been born in a country where my skin colour is rare then I could have faced more than just discrimination I could also have faced a much higher level of danger. In some countries white women and girls are valued for sex trafficking, particularly if they are blue eyed and blonde or red haired (I am the latter). Even in the UK where I grew up blue eyed children are targeted more by trafficking and grooming gangs, but they are most likely to be taken from broken homes and foster homes because they are less likely to be missed. So I was blessed to have grown up in a stable family situation which offered higher protection from this kind of situation.
While I experienced child sexual abuse, it was minor compared to the abuse many have experienced and I count that as a blessing too. The reality is that even in first world countries a lot of women have experienced sexual abuse and/or rape. Most women I have gotten to know well have a story to tell. I can't say if this has improved for younger generations as more awareness is raised, but I can only hope so.
Have I missed anything or have I checked my privilege enough? 😉
What blessings are you grateful for or have you been grateful for in your life?
Spend time with my family is my everyday blessing...
Beautiful photo!
!PIZZA
That is a huge blessing. The husband of a friend of mine passed away nearly 3 years ago, so she no longer has chance to spend time with him. Her children are all grown up now too, so she sees them less. She often feels lonely.
The photo is from @lizelle and it is indeed beautiful
Every day, every morning you wake up is a blessing and we mustn't forgot it
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@danideuder(1/5) tipped @minismallholding
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I agree with you because when we talk about privilege some people immediately think of unfairness and that privilege person being a spoilt brat, which in reality may not always be true, but quite often are.
You can't blame a person for being born and bought up in a privileged environment. They are not to blame for that. What's most important is to be aware of your privilege position, not take it for granted and be aware and considerate, that your situation may be beyond reach for many others.
I consider myself in a privileged position at this stage in my life, but I worked hard for it in my earlier years. I'm aware I live in my better conditions compared to many on Hive from less developed countries, and for that I'm grateful for all the sacrifices and hard work my parents did for us decades ago giving me a head start in life.
Every day I wake up, I'm grateful for having a comfortable home over my head and not worrying being kicked out to the streets by a landlord. I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about putting food on the table, and I'm blessed to be able to enjoy life and travel whenever and (pretty much) to wherever I want. And more importantly, when I share these travels, I'm blessed that the community on Hive seem to enjoy them ☺️
Many of us are in a better position than we might want to admit to make our lives better than we have. There are people and families I grew up around who could have made sacrifices at times and better financial choices for a better future life, but chose not to and still live hand to mouth even now. Then there are those I know who make continuous bad financial decisions but still live comfortably because wealthier parents bail them out regularly.
This, for sure. I notice that people who have grown up and lived in a certain demographic often can't conceptualise that someone else's reality could be quite different to theirs. Another thing I'm grateful for is having had the opportunity to live around and meet people from a variety of walks of life, gaining a broader insight into how different life experiences can be. I would have loved to travel more too, because that shows you even more different cultures and ways of life.
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Hi, @minismallholding.
Blessings and privileges? Interesting topic. You know, for some reason or due to social conditioning, we tend to see the glass as half empty. Undoubtedly, women have been abused in many ways for generations, but if we also delved into the history of their male counterparts, we might find many surprises. For example, I was born a man of mixed race in a Latin American country where racial discrimination was almost nonexistent. Like you, I have much to be grateful for: growing up without suffering the hunger of past generations, and my parents' dedication to providing me with an excellent education that allowed me to function with relative success in society. But, as in any cycle, one is not exempt from the ups and downs of fortune, no matter how prepared one might be. In an instant, anyone could go from stability to functional destitution. Don't believe me? Many of my countrymen (including myself) fell into this situation as a result of hyperinflation, perhaps the worst in modern history. However, this is an opportunity to test resilience, explore, and develop other talents.
Although I've quoted him on more than one occasion, the words of the wise Spanish philosopher Ortega y Gasset remain relevant: "I am myself and my circumstances." In that sense, one could compare oneself to others and look for reasons to condemn oneself or to be grateful. Therefore, it's worthwhile to see the glass as half empty (lamenting) or half full (giving thanks) for our current situation. I like to give thanks, even for the adversities I face daily.
I believe the focus lies elsewhere. In the capacity to appreciate what one is: a wonderful being existing in a complex and unjust world. Of course, adhering to some other Stoic precepts, I conclude that, in the end, privileges and blessings, although determined by the place we occupy in the world, reside essentially in the freedom to act upon them. It is up to each of us to exercise that freedom. It's a shame that so many ignore it or are unable to recognize it.
Greetings.
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I always look forward to your insightful additions to my posts. 😊
Exactly! This is one of the things that prompts me to write on these kinds of topics. We are only able to complain about the smaller injustices when we are in a blessed/privileged enough position to be able to do so, as opposed to just trying to survive. In first world countries, at the moment, this is the position we are in and many are so busy complaining about being victimised they often fail to see how safe and stable life currently is for them. The fact that they can complain in this way illustrates just how good we have it.
Hyperinflation has happened throughout history and the fact that it is happening in countries today should make it obvious that no country will ever be immune to it. Wars happen, disasters happen and if we want to survive through them we can't play the victim and hope for help. We survive by looking through the perspective of what good we can find. For my grandparents that perspective came from living through a war.
Absolutely! Sometimes on social media it can feel like complaints about men, the patriarchy and women being suppressed is constant. Often instead of using history to demonstrate how far we've come with equality in this area they use the past to heap more criticism upon men. That glass half empty view rather than the half full one which would show us just how far we've come. Much of the examples given from the past rely on what we know of the wealthy and the ruling classes, too, but if you look at the common people oppression was across the board no matter what your sex.
Maybe a stupid remark but here it goes - it's a blessing to be alive and reasonably well. Everything else is a privilege. But in a good way. Not as something that others think you do not deserve. If they tell you that it's their problem and not yours.
Not a stupid remark in my opinion. This is a positive and productive way to look at it and it says a lot in a very simple way. 😁
I agree. I think as white women we check our privilege far more often than most, and we're also aware that also comes with it's burdens that people don't quite realise as they assume because you're white you have had all the privilege. I think people of a certain level of education (self or state, whatever) are more aware of how they are 'lucky'.
Australians tend to repeat the story they're 'lucky' without seeing that they're in a group that's lucky as a whole in this country - perhaps born into a particular demographic. They tend to ignore others who might be less so. I'm obviously generalising here but I have a massive problem with the 'lucky country' mythology.
Hive is great for connecting us with people in different situations than our own. I'm conscious of how much I have compared to some - talking about my new house on the coast, for example, and what I buy and how I live. But though I might have privilege relative to that, as you know, we can make different comparisions in this country as well, and as people know, I've worked hard for where I'm at despite being born to a middle class Aussie family that worked hard to get there and were migrants themselves to migrant families with the hardship they went through.
'Check your privilege' is often a very shitty thing to say - it comes from people who have privilege themselves, mostly I reckon! If I say it it's a self reflection tool or gently taking the mick out of people I know, to immediately bring them back to earth, or being who they are, they're immediately saying 'first world problems I know' and rolling their eyes at their own complaints.
This is something I really love about Hive. A lot of what we think we know about situations in other countries come from people not living in those countries. Speaking to people and reading about them in their own words has been an eye opener.
The reality is that the class you are born into doesn't guarantee you ending up in the same position yourself. My grandmother was born into an upper middle class family, then the war happened. Consequently my mum was then born into a working class family in what was classed as a deprived area. She still grew up with the values my grandparents imparted which was a good working ethic. She ended up becoming the higher wage earner once we got a bit older.
This reminds me of another privilege both my mum, her siblings, my sister and I had growing up and that was to be able to attend a Rudolf Steiner school which subsidised children in this area so that poorer children could have the chance to get this education. Sadly the school has now been closed down because they couldn't afford the building upkeep any more. I think most of the benefactors from when we were there have died now.
Am always super grateful for life and health...every single day. Yes circumstances differ, but like you said the optics could have been a lot worse in the wrong location.
I had some rather snarky comments about people who say "check your privilege" but chose to just state that instead of the actual comments XD
The version sibling dearest and I have is "well it could be worse" (with examples if it seems necessary).
I'm slightly disappointed I didn't get to read them now. 🤣
"Could be worse" is one I like. It's a good one to de-stress situations
It makes you count your blessings XD
I agree, counting our blessings is a far kinder, less provocative way to check out privilege.
The former inspires a sense of gratitude. The latter, a sense of shame.
I think you've put your finger on it exactly here. Although when people say the latter to you I think they are wanting to induce a sense of shame which is a very unhelpful way of trying to make people aware of the fact that life can be much harder for others.