Coping with Loss in the Age of Social Media
Remembering Molly and Pepper ..
As I sit here, reminiscing about the loss of Molly and Pepper .. I can't help but feel a heavy weight in my heart. It's been three years and five months since Pepper left us, and just four months since Molly departed. The memories flood back, both beautiful and painful, as I navigate through the waves of grief.
In the midst of my reflections .. I've found myself confronted by the ever-present world of social media. Facebook, in particular, has been a bittersweet reminder of the absence of my beloved companions. It seems that every so often, the platform nudges me to share a post, offering up memories from the past and prompting me to provide an update—a "then and now" snapshot, if you will.
It was during one of these moments that the pang of loss struck especially hard. Facebook, in its algorithmic innocence, presented me with a photo of Pepper, followed by an empty space, as if beckoning for a current picture to fill the void. And then, just last week, the same scenario unfolded with Molly. The platform's attempt to evoke nostalgia inadvertently reopened wounds I thought were starting to heal.
The irony of it all is painfully clear.. How can I provide a "now" photo when my cherished companions are no longer with me? The suggestion feels like a cruel twist of fate, a reminder of what I can never recapture. In these moments, it's easy to feel the weight of loss bearing down on me, amplified by the digital world's relentless march forward.
Yet, amidst the sorrow, there's a glimmer of solace to be found. Writing about my feelings, as I'm doing now, serves as a form of release—a cathartic exercise in processing the emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. By putting pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard), I can channel some of that negative energy into something constructive.
Moreover, sharing these thoughts with others who have experienced similar losses can foster a sense of connection and understanding. In a world that often feels fragmented and isolating, finding common ground in our grief can be a source of comfort and solidarity.
So, as I navigate the ever-changing landscape of social media .. I'll hold onto the memories of Molly and Pepper with love and gratitude. Though they may no longer be by my side, their presence lives on in the cherished moments we shared. And in the face of Facebook's well-intentioned reminders, I'll choose to honor their memory in my own way, one heartfelt reflection at a time.
I think I would loos my mind if I wasn't able to write something here on Hive about the loss of my babies. It is also nice that my friends here on the platform are non-judgmental, allowing me to freely speak my mind about what hurts and why it does. I sometimes look back on my writing and think it may be a bit depressing a times. But believe me.. It is helping me to heal. I think if I kept the thoughts bottled up inside, they would eventually turn me cold and miserable.
So thank you for providing me a place to put those feelings into words.
I miss my baby boy and girl something terrible
Everyday
“The loss is as particular and profound as the intimacy, and the depth of mourning it sets off can shock people, for we’re often not fully aware of how many voids the dog has filled until he’s no longer there, no longer filling those spaces in his able, silent way.”
― Caroline Knapp
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I myself feel very sad when I see these pictures, when something goes away from the world, there is a lot of trouble and its memories always remain with a person.
There is no escaping it I guess. Thank you for the support 😊
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It's impossible to avoid sadness when something like that happens, but we are sure that Molly and Pepper would be very happy knowing that you would give love and home (if you can) to some other their relative (no matter how distant in terms of type and breed), especially if it's an abandoned creature somewhere out there crying to be found, accepted, loved, and trained.
Molly and Pepper knew how good you were at that, and we are sure they wouldn't be jealous but very proud of you.
While keeping and cherishing your happy memories with Molly and Peeper, maybe you can save another and make it your new companion.
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We will eventually do just that. Right now we are not emotionally ready, but the time will come where we will provide a home and love again.
Thank you for the beautiful words and thoughts.. I appreciate the support!
You are most welcome!
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Facebook is a nightmare for pet memories. It is a mixed blessing, as you are suddenly reminded of departed pets, those then and now pics are awful with the blank space.
I never knew Pepper just Molly as I have only been on Hive for a couple of years.
I am glad Hive is a solace for you. Losing a pet really takes a long time to accept. I know our dogs we had such bonds with.
Perfectly said!
I know there is no escaping the memories or little signs around the house, but sometimes they just hit harder than others. That's when I turn to writing them out and that seems to help. I love Hive for that reason. Thanks for sharing that with me.. Knowing others have gone through this too helps.
There is never solace, my dear Brad. I still grieve the loss of my dear Yorkies.
I've found a little solace.
Death is hard. That's for sure.
Facebook sure does have a way of getting to you every now and then for sure. I've actually seen some platforms are starting to adjust their algorithms so that certain days don't hit as hard. Like fathers day if you lost yours etc. You have to opt in I think, but it is at least a step.
Yeah.. I don't go on there much because of the relentless adds. It's an add farm at this point. Then hit me with that stuff??!! Heck with them. lol.
Hope Jovi is okay. I have to get over to your blog and catch up on that.
We got some interesting news.better than we thought, but still no definitive answers.
It always seems that way. All we want is an answer, black-and-white, and nothing definitive ever comes of it it seems. At least when you’re dealing with internal issues. We’ve been through that a few times that’s for sure.
I can definitely appreciate more how hard it must have been on you. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that.
It's the price we pay for all that unconditional love we received in a very short period of time. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I would rather hurt than not have had those years with my pups. Give Jovi lots of love for us!
I totally get it! Will do!
Two beauties.
Will be together again in heaven.
Amen.
Like always.. Thank you for the kindness and the support. It means a lot!
I totally understand my daughter nanixxx also lost her pets a long time ago and she still mourns and misses them. Share your feelings with us and it will be less painful. Pets love each other very much. Happy Thursday.😀
Yes, losing pets is like losing children. Very hard to deal with. It's comforting to know others have gone through the same thing and sharing those thoughts here helps .. others share their stories and that also helps. Thank you for stopping by and giving me your support!
Those FB memories often hit me in the face and opens the floodgates!
That empty space they give is a stark reminder that they're gone.
I got to know Miss Molly a little through your blogs, the sweetest little girl, so I can just imagine how you feel after the loss of your two little darlings!
Like you, I've also used my writings here in Hive as a way to deal with grief after the loss of my soulmate.
So yes, I absolutely agree that it is cathartic when we share our grief here.
People say they'll always be with you, but they're not in the physical sense we want, all we have is the memories, and those are invaluable.
Yes, I know you are grappling with more than I can imagine. I think about my wife, and I can't imagine parting ways at this point let alone the amount of years you guys were together. Losing Molly, most likely pails in comparison. But we've been through it a few times, and, death seems to harden one in certain ways. Not sure if that's good or bad. Losing pepper prior to this helped. In a way, I don't like thinking about it that way, but it has helped. I guess we cannot escape the constant reminders, they just become part of the healing process, I suppose.
You are right in saying death does kind of harden one in a way.
I've lost close family, young and old, and it was heartwrenching each time, but one learns to build a 'shell' to soften the blow.
That shell was broken when I lost my husband!
One cannot compare grief, as we have a special place in our hearts for those we love. but if it's someone we see daily, like your little Pepper and Molly, it becomes a little harder.
We need to look back at those memories, and talk about them, cry, and laugh, as that is all part of the healing process.
However, the loss of a child is quite unthinkable, and not something any parent should have to go through. My Mom had to deal with losing two children in the prime of their lives, and she never got over that.
When it comes to one's life partner and soulmate, we know that we will one day have to say farewell, but nothing can prepare one for that feeling of utter despair that they will never be back again.
I say to people, appreciate every moment you have together, and don't leave things unsaid, as you may never get the chance to do it.
If only I could have had just one more day!
I think you did a wonderful job of making that point. "If only I could have just one more day..." How about it. I went back and read one of my favorite Robert Frost poems after reading your comment...
Reluctance
Robert Frost
Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.
The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.
And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'
Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
I will be thinking of you and your daily struggles @lizelle, as I go through mine. And I will remember the advice you give.. because it is very true. Thank you for being a caring soul and thoughtful friend.
Thank you Brad for sharing this poem and for understanding.
Yes the seasons of life come and go, one adapts but this new season I'm in, is very harsh!
Things will never be the same again, but one needs to get on with life.
I experienced losses and I was very affected but not with my pets as I only started owning one less than a year ago. However, reading this makes me really sad especially since I currently go through a lot of medical challenges with my pet and I am not ready to lose him...
Losing my pets has been just as bad as losing human loved ones. Death and loss I guess is parallel. I hope you don't have to go through this anytime soon, although loving, pets, and people eventually bring us to that point. That's the sucky part about being human, I suppose. I wish you the best with your pet and I will be thinking about you as you move through the struggles. We know exactly how you feel given Molly was sick for many many years. Writing about it on hive really does help! Thank you for the support.
Thank you for the encouraging words and for understanding me. Nothing compares to finding someone who understands exactly what you are going through. I hope we won't face this situation too soon anyway, but we gotta be strong. Sadly, there is no way to avoid these situations..
It's good that you are honoring them in this way. I pray that eventually you will find joy, and memories worth adding in the new memories category 🙏. Nothing can replace anyone, but it is possible to have new and different joys.
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Thank you for the wonderful words and support! It's been a rough go these past few months, but I have to remember we had over 14 1/2 years with her. That's pretty good considering her ailments. You just never know when one of those little reminders is going to kick you in the gut like it did the other day. That's the sucky part about waiting for the pain to pass I suppose.
Yeah... if only their lifespan were longer 😢 It's hard, they're with us long enough to become a part of us, yet they leave way too soon.
I really couldn’t have said it better myself.
It's usually not so easy dealing with grief from the loss of a loved one, be it a human or a pet as in your case, having FB send these memories I'm sure must have really triggered you. Just take it one step at a time, live on with their beautiful memories. Cheers
Time helps ease the pain. With a little reminders that are still around. It makes it kind of tough. That's what's so great about blogging here on hive, it gives me that little bit of release, so I don't keep it inside. Thanks for the support!
I am sorry for your loss and can understand the pain of losing a beloved pet. It must be even more difficult when social media reminds you of the memories you shared with them. Writing about your feelings and sharing them with others who have experienced similar losses can help in healing from the grief. Hive provides a supportive community where you can share your thoughts without judgment, which is vital for processing emotions. I hope that as you continue to write and connect with others, your heartache will lessen over time.
This platform, hive, has been a god set. I get a lot of good support from friends who I have never met. There's something to be said for that. It also gives me a great place to relieve those feelings and put them out there to be heard. Keeping things bottled up is never good.
It's so unfortunate, death is something I have not been able to grapple with, the finality of it and the reminder that one's loss is irreplaceable. It sets one into emotional downturn.
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
There are reminders everywhere, but it is getting easier as time passes.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you 😊
Ohhhh dear I can't imagine how you felt, imagine waking up from the right side of the bed, you are happy and everything seems to be going well only to be greeted by these.
Hang in there dear friend and you will be just fine, here's a big warm !hug🤗 for you.
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Thank you for the virtual hug and for the support and understanding. 😊
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I check memories on my husband’s phone each morning, to see what, if anything, he commented on.
The first year I saved them all in word docs along with the comments his friends made.
It’s just an away of keeping him present in my life.
Like you, it’s hard to see there’s nothing new to add…
We do what we need to do to cope with the sadness.. There are several things I am purposely NOT doing.. like cleaning nose smudges off the glass.. Because I still need the little signs she is here. Some day I will be able to.
Awwww... So cute. Thank you for the virtual hugs. 😊
Your words were so subtle and sincere that I could not respond with other words, but with a gifs. 🥰🫠
It was perfect. No words needed. 😁