Self Limiting beliefs
Today I want to write about this one conversation I had with a friend and my thoughts on it. This friend of mine, whenever we go out, always sets boundaries for himself. We had gone to visit the Grand Mosque, it's a very beautiful place, the architecture is marvelous and truly to be admired. He clicked a couple of pictures and then when we were half way done seeing this place, he told me that, ok now last picture after this he is done, seeing it all. I got a little annoyed, because we had not finished watching it and even before that he just set this limit. This was not the first time he had done such a thing.
Every time he does this, before enjoying the moment thoroughly he would set limits that it is enough for him. Then I spoke to him, that why does he always do that, why does he not complete the whole experience before coming to any conclusions if he would want more of it or not. His answer was very weird, he tells me, that he feels satisfied with the glimpse of everything and does not feel a need to explore more. He feels that by doing this he is not having greed for anything more. What I personally felt was, that he is scared to explore and that's why every-time before finishing the whole experience he wants to withdraw.
He told me that his wife also has same complaint with him, that he has no ambition in life and has no fondness for anything. He accepts that he lives a very withdrawn life. For a moment I was thinking has this got anything to do with contentment or is it fear of something. Withdrawing half way every time and feeling disconnected is not the same thing as feeling contended after experiencing the whole of it.
I feel that when we set limitations for ourself, nature also limits in giving us. Why should we not be open to receiving. If we are open to receiving it does not mean, we are greedy. He feels it that way. We had a long argument, because he also wants to prove his point and I had my own thought process towards this behavior. In the end I just gave up. After all it's his life and he is free to live the way, he wants.
I kept thinking about this a lot, that why do people run away from happiness, why is it that such people withdraw themselves so quickly before they experience the full thing of whatever it is. Life is so beautiful, and we need to go slow in experiencing it and thoroughly enjoy every moment. Jumping from one moment to another without taking the full experience of that moment, I believe is a very shallow way of living life. Either such people are very restless types or they have no admiration of the little things of life.
If we keep limiting ourselves and setting boundaries, then our thoughts will also be limited and the energies we attract will also be limited.
What are your thoughts on this?
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Your friend might be following the Buddhist teaching wherein he doesn't allow greed, attachment or pleasure to consume himself. However, I do agree that there might also be a psychological fear within him.
True, to an extent you are right and that's a beautiful practice to stay contended. But what I sometimes do not understand is when one limits themselves in everything. You do not show greed but you enjoy the moment you are in and you do not cut off from that, which is what I do not agree with
We look at things, people, experiences from our perspective and filter. If we have a growth mindset and are willing to question our beliefs, habits and patterns on a consistent basis, we often wonder why others aren't doing the same. Maybe he just holds up a mirror for us to reflect upon 'limiting beliefs' and how they keep one in a cage, maybe it's a different lesson that we need to learn. We are all on different paths and often times observing and just letting be (or go) turns out to be very helpful and healing.
That is so true, and to a large extent I do appreciate when one shows contentment. But from the other side when I look at it, I feel that even before experiencing when one stops themselves then that is where my mind thinks if this is the right way of life. It is not always about getting more, but it is also about enjoying the moment, but when your mind is so occupied in ending it, how will you enjoy the present moment also.
First time I heard about someone withdrawing before finished any experience or any complete visit for a place to discover more! I wonder how he acts in his job? Hopefully he complete his tasks!
Yes, he has been doing the same job since years, he does not have expectations of intentions of growth because he feels happy with what he is doing, which is a good thing in a way. But at the same time some aspirations are required in life, which is my way of thinking and not necessary it is right
These subconscious boundaries could lead to negative emotions like imposter syndrome, anxiety, and procrastination.
That's true, what I see is lot of procrastination in this case
exactly 💯
Well, I just feel there should be levels to the kinds of limitations that we set for ourselves
Limitations just reduces the things we do...
I too believe that one must enjoy life but not with greed
It really is like that. We can't draw conclusions about something just by looking at what's at the beginning, or above it.
Something that seemed bad may turn out to be good, or someone we initially disliked may end up being our best friend and ally.
Some people withdraw mid way in all their experiences with the fear of facing the outcome.
Very true. We should be open to receiving and not limit our thoughts, exploration, ambitions or dreams.
Universe does not stop us from anything, it is we who set boundaries in everything
we set limitations for ourself, nature also limits in giving us - YES
my dear, I have the same thinking some weeks ago about....myself. Yeah, I do feel I have similar limits for me in life. Subconsciously I stopped myself in getting pleasure in life, getting expensive things and happiness. I was sure that too much of good is...not for me. A little bit - yeah, I am worth of it, but not more. I started to understand I had these limits when I had hard emotional times and read many psychological books. They have opened my eyes on many things about me. And on these limit as well. I really stopped myself in getting pleasure and goods many times. Now I try to reprogram myself and destroy these beliefs. It's not easy, but it's possible I am sure. I am changing myself and bringing myself up again;) I DO like all your thoughts about it!😍
That's nice that you have this realization my dear. I am glad you could find your path. I do not think it is necessary to wish for good things in life in the right manner and without any greed. One should not get obsessed about it. If it comes to you, do not doubt it, it's meant for you then why push it away. When good things come to us, we need to stay grounded and enjoy them. Life is so simple but we make it complex in our minds with our thoughts.
Sometimes we fear the final outcome and that's why we do not want to explore, we fear that we may fail, we may get disappointed but then that's where all the learning comes.
I believe that we must live life openly, laugh out loud, not stay constrained and do everything with good thoughts, good words and good deeds to stay on the path of righteousness and enjoy life.
The most important thing is to believe in yourself. Every day there is a new thought which we can understand in the words of others.