Life Challenges, Denial & Such

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(Edited)

"Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We’re not really aware we’re doing it until we’re done doing it. Forcing ourselves — or anyone else — to face the truth usually doesn’t help. We won’t face the facts until we are ready. Neither, it seems, will anyone else. We may admit to the truth for a moment, but we won’t let ourselves know what we know until we feel safe, secure, and prepared enough to deal and cope with it."

— Melody Beattie (The Language of Letting Go)


October has to be the most difficult month for our family. So much has been going on that I could not comprehend, turning my life upside down, challenging my mental, emotional, and physical strength and even my faith, making me question things at times.

The frequent hospital stays, both of my parents being diagnosed with tumors (Mom's likely cancerous), and learning they cannot get further surgeries or procedures due to their advancing age had become too much for me to bear that I had just been secretly and silently drowning my pain in the bath.

I have been acting tough, taking things lightly and downplaying the situation like nothing serious is happening, even lying to my sisters about the doctors' findings and diagnosis thinking I was protecting them for they were fighting their own health battles. What a naive thing to do and who am I kidding!

But because we needed to decide what to do next, I eventually told my siblings the truth and while they were as shocked as I was before, they were a bit more composed. Tears were shed as expected but there was no drama. We have all grown up and are all good at hiding our pains I guess...

Without realizing it, I have been in denial for some time, refusing to believe things when I was sure (in my heart) that they were true. The diagnosis, the sleepless nights, and physical and emotional exhaustion have built up that two nights ago, the lid I unconsciously placed on everything popped, I broke down and cried the hardest in the Farmboy's arms. Perhaps my breaking point had been reached and I was just grateful I was home when it happened.

I am feeling better now and hopeful too. The days ahead will be more difficult and likely very challenging but I fervently pray for more strength (and some miracles) that we will get through them and cope gracefully. May the Heavens have mercy on us🙏🙏

Picture is mine. 02112024/10:10ph

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denial breakingpoint life emotionalhealth challenges diary personalstruggle hope gratitude pob
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44 comments
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Sincerely hoping things get better for you and your family. This is also a reminder for me to check on my parents as they've been getting old too. So thank you.

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I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think you're really kind trying to protect your siblings. And really brave for facing reality. Having just suffered seven years of Dad's cancers and his death last month, I get it. Feeling for you. Big hugs, and be kind to yourself x

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Thank you, it was the most difficult thing to do and I was relieved my siblings understood why I did it.

I'm so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing... Sending you my warmest hugs.

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was relieved my siblings understood why I did it.

Family should always have each other's backs. You seem to have such a lovely family to support each other no matter what. That's the most important thing

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We have our misgivings at times but we do support one another. Thank you.

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I can so much relate to your quote in the first paragraph; it's something I had to deal with earlier this year.

What you and your family are going through is tough and I pray that God gives you all strength and courage to face this and come out stronger. I also hope the miracle you seek comes through.

Please do not be too tough on yourself ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

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I hope your ordeal earlier in the year is over. Thank you for your prayers and kind words. I sincerely appreciate you 💗 I'm kinder to myself now, taking as much rest as I could :)

!LUV

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Yes, thank you so much. I'm in a great place now.

My best wishes and prayers are with you.

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That's good to know. Thank you and take care :)

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I am not good at consoling. I don't know what to say in such a situation. I think everything can't be controlled by us as it's a harsh reality. I just hope that you can stay strong, be positive, and cheer every moment.
!PIZZA

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Thank you for your warm words, Inti. Keeping my palms together in ardent prayer 🙏

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I'm really so sad at all you have been going through, I also wish for miracles for your family.

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It's tough but we have to be strong. Thank you and may the miracles come through. 🙏

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My prayer is with you in this challenging period of your life, I wish you heaven's swift response.

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I'm really praying for you to overcome these trials...

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Thank you. With God's grace, we will get through these.

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Sending hugs and strengths to you virtually. May the heavens be with you all at this challenging moments of your lives. xx

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That is so heartwarming, thank you so much. 💗

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No words can be helpful in this situation, when life throws shit to you, not much you can do except try clean the best you can

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You're right. We can only do what we can, especially since we have no control over things.

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Hmmmmm, this is so sad to read. It's a good thing not to bottle up your feelings, breaking down in tears isn't a sign of weakness, it helps us mentally and emotionally. I hope God give you and your family the wisdom and strength to carry on.

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You are right, Amie. Crying helps us express our emotions and we feel better afterward. Thank you for your prayers. 💗

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Sorry for the stress you went through

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Ay, sis! I am so sorry that your parents are going through such health conditions. I will pray for you all. And I know it's hard in these circumstances but don't forget to take care of yourself, and to have some time for you, and to be with your boys, the farmboy and your furry baby.
I send you a big hug, amiga

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Thank you, amiga. Being with my boys lightens the heavy load somehow.💗

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I am so sorry for everything, this is such a big blow for you and your family but if there’s one thing that I know is that a few months from now you all will think about all of these and be proud of how far you all have come.

Just hang in there for a little while and you’d be just fine.

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It certainly is a nasty surprise for all of us but we are hanging on, hoping and praying things will turn out differently (better). Thank you so much for your comforting words 💗

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