I refused to accept predetermined fate

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I refused to accept predetermined fate

Looking back now, it's wild to think about all the hurdles and setbacks I powered through to get where I'm at today. Back then, those struggles felt totally consuming - like the whole world was against me and I'd never break through. But funnily enough, my eventual success has totally reframed all that past pain and struggle. It's just… water under the bridge now.

I'm talking about a little kid dreaming big dreams, but growing up dead broke in a rough neighborhood kind of struggles. The kind where you're constantly reminded that kids like you don't make it out, don't get those golden opportunities. I vividly remember being picked on for wearing hand-me-down clothes, getting laughed at for talking about going to college one day. The negativity and temptation to just give up was all around me.

But something inside me refused to accept that predetermined fate, you know? I was hungry for more, obsessed with working towards goals most couldn't even see, let alone understand. While other kids were chilling after school, I was juggling a million side hustles and extracurriculars. Anything to piece together funds for higher education and punch my ticket out.

Still, the roadblocks just kept coming. I'd get rejected for opportunities, couldn't qualify for financial aid, whatever. Just constant feelings of being the underdog who couldn't catch a break no matter how hard I clawed. There were definitely teary nights wondering if I was simply delusional about my dreams.

But I had to keep pushing forward. Pursuing that elusive success was legitimately life or death for my future self. No wasn't really an option unless I wanted to resign myself to a life of lack forever. Looking back now though, I'm low-key grateful for every setback and hurdle along the way.

They molded me into the self-made machine I am today, forged this unbreakable self-belief and daily gallon of grit that just won't quit. Each time I overcame one of those baby challenges, it made me that much mentally tougher and unphased for tackling the next bigger one coming down the pike. Those early lessons were boot camp for lasting resilience.

And man, when you finally hit the big milestones after weathering all those devastating lows? Nothing can dull your shine or make you second guess yourself ever again. You legitimately get reminded that all those struggles and dark moments were merely stone steps getting you to the eventual triumph you'd envisioned.

These days, I'll randomly revisit some traumatic failure or closed door from back then. And instead of the old sadness or embarrassment welling up, I honestly just chuckle. Maybe even appreciate how that particular situation thickened my skin for what was still to come down the road. There's zero residual woulda/coulda/shoulda regrets either.

No, all those memories just go down like Benadryl now - little digestible pills confirming that every loss and shortcoming was simply pre-manufacturing the winner I needed to become. Sure, in the moments they felt like crippling, dream-dashing blows. But soon enough, they were mere specks in the rear-view.

I remember being so scared of those possible outcomes back then too. Like each "No" or rejection was a death sentence that could annihilate my hopes forever. Now though, I realize those were just natural hurdles and humanity checks that everybody has to bounce back from over and over. Stamps and scar tissue confirming I've got the grit to defy the odds.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still randomly get impostor syndrome sometimes too. Those echoes of feeling underqualified and unworthy of my current success creeping back up. But then I'm able to zoom out and reflect on that decade-plus of persistence and resilience that led me here. Of overcoming lack of resources, naysayers, personal demons - you name it. It all adds up to me going to sleep smiling at night, zero regrets.

Any twinges of self-doubt get immediately squashed by the tough-as-nails confidence I earned every step of the way. Everything I went through, the hurdles and pain and grinding in obscurity - it's all water under the bridge now. Just the bittersweet rain uniting to create my eventual sun shower. And hey, maybe that's true success too? Still gratefully carrying invaluable gems of wisdom from your past, but hardly even flinching anymore at the potholes.

Whether it's work, relationships, wellness - nowadays I just know I can tackle anything thrown my way. My struggles have been recoded into scars that light the path ahead. No matter how many bodies are left in the wake or detours required, I'll get where I'm trying to go eventually. Everything else is just some water to simply walk across en route to that final destination.