Coming out the other end of a week-long sickness - introspection.

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At this point, people are asking me if I perhaps had Covid or H1N1 (Swine Flu). Honestly, I do not know. Although I went to the doctor to get medicine and to be checked out, they do not simply run tests any more to see if you are positive for this strain of virus or that strain of virus.

It started with a viral infection last week. I blogged about this earlier this week and I don't intend to repeat myself there.

Monday till Thursday I have been on Anti-biotics because of the secondary bacterial infection.

Instead, I wanted to say in this post that I appreciate breathing. I appreciate being able to sleep through the night.

I am worried and something that I have realized about myself is that when I am sick and injured that my mental and emotional fortitude is weakened and undermined.

In this time, my fears are compounded and it is because of this weakened state. A state in which I cannot defend myself from.

It makes me wonder what it feels like to have a disability. To have that surety and confidence taken away from you. To learn to cope without chance of recovery.

From where I am right now. I will recover. My lungs and throat will heal and I will be able to go outside and work again. I will regain my energy and get back to all the things that I enjoy doing.

But some people do not have the luxury or recovery. They are in a state where their body never re-adjusts. There is a peak to recovery and that is something that is heavily disheartening.

I have to admire the resilience of the human spirit being able to take all this in and instead of breaking down, to adapt and to make a new life for one-self. To continue and make best of whatever is left over and to still find joy.

It is hard to imagine.

Maybe it is the oppressive rain outside. Maybe it is my illness and lack of energy. Maybe it is my stress and worry over finances and my kid's education.

Maybe it is a combination of all of these things rolled into one that is making me feel this way.

Perhaps I just need to sleep some more. Rest and see what tomorrow brings instead of trying desperately to see a change in the situation as it is right now.

I hope none of the other Ecentials have gotten this sick this last year.

It has really taken a toll on me.

I hope you all go well.

Regards
@zakludick

Hive South Africa