15hrs+, Well That's Disturbing

img source

I remember how I felt the first time I got a smartphone. I felt happy, mature, and not alone; it was like getting a best friend meant for me alone. Putting a password on my phone felt incredible; it was the only thing I could lock at home; it felt like a personal belonging more than my personal belongings. But still, my screen time back then didn't surpass 4 hours. Maybe because I wasn't really using it for anything, or maybe I didn't know yet I could use it for so much.
The only apps I used on the phone were a Stickman party game, audio mack, and the Bible on Sundays. I literally carried my phone around in my hand just to show I got a phone.

Then I started taking movies with my Xender, but my screen time didn't change that much because I just switched more time from the game to watching movies.
Before I knew it, my phone was filled with apps and even better games, like Call of Duty, Twitter, Instagram, Netflix, and some apps I don't even use.
Sometimes, when I have nothing to do, I just check for apps I rarely use and fool around. Sometimes, you would think I was doing something important, but I am just spending some time in my settings.
But now I don't do that anymore because even with nothing to do I have apps like Twitter and Instagram reels I could use to just pass time.

I remember my 100 level when my battery was degrading minute by minute, getting worse every day till a hundred percent charge lasted seconds. It was a horrible experience; when it finally spoiled, I felt like crying.
It wasn't until I got a new phone that my friend told me that my phone made me depressed, and it was true. When I departed from my phone, I felt sad and down; I hardly even smiled or laughed, and I slept a lot.

After that realization, I started trying to fight this addiction; I used timers on my apps, I reduced carrying my phone around, and I started doing things that I couldn't use my phone for.
I took my mom's novels and started reading them. And it actually reduced, for some time, I felt free from my phone; it felt good, and I saw improvement in many areas, like my productivity for one.

But now, fast forward to today; I don't know when I started going back and started having an average screen time of 9 hours.
Sometimes when I think of it, it's actually disturbing. I can go without my phone for hours, but I have to do it consciously. I am not sure if this makes sense but after that last time my phone spoiled and I tried helping myself I would say I have reduced my reliance on phones because I can decide I don't need my phone and drop it and survive without it, the only hard thing is deciding I don't need or want it, I guess no matter how I put it, it still screams one thing: ADDICTION.

IMAGE IS MINE