When letting go is the only option.

Growing up, I thought marriage was filled with a bed of roses, always to the point that they don't run out of roses. Marriage is a beautiful union of two people who love and cherish each other, who have made up their minds to accept their lapses and still build a wonderful home together. Despite the different backgrounds they grew up in, the different choices they had to make trying to navigate through this thing called "life" then they met and started developing a thing in the heart for each other, a feeling that can't be described easily, that blush they feel whenever their eyes meet by any given chance.

After a while, they decided to spend the rest of their lives living together and waking up beside each other. That beautiful feeling, "the joy," that accompanies those moments can't be traded for anything else in the world. At those moments, you'd feel like it's the best decision you are about to make, and no man can put asunder, no matter how hard they try.

Then, after the whole celebrations that accompany marriage are done, you are now faced with the reality of taking care of your home and putting things in place. You are now the one in charge of things that go on in your home without having a third party make any decision for you, except when you are seeking advice. "Then you are allowed to involve a third party" because they say no man is an island on his own.

Everything will be going smoothly till one moment you'd feel things starting to change "no doubt people change" the feelings that escalated to getting married won't be there any longer, often you are struggling to finding yourself in that thing called "marriage" often you try your best to make things work out despite the disconnection, you look at your children and be like "I want a complete home" if not for the sake of anyone's else but for the sake of my children let me stay and endure everything that is happening.

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Then one morning you can't take it anymore and just make that decision that will change your life forever, that one decision that is likely to break you in the process. Before you know it, you've made that decision, and things have become different.

Like I always tell the desperados around me who are so desperate to get married, it's always better to marry right than rush into marriage today and rush out the next day because you think you are old enough for marriage or because of the pressure from family and friends. Marriage isn't something that needs to be rushed. I know that often we are likely to possess this feeling of excitement and fulfillment, but then we don't know what lies ahead of us.

Often, couples come outside to showcase what isn't inside the house. They might look alright and play all lovey-dovey, but then inside the room, they are like a cat and a dog who can't set their eyes on each other.

"Divorce" isn't a good thing, but then if that is the only choice to make, it's a good thing. I don't discriminate against those who are divorced because everyone is entitled to their reasons for divorcing their partners. I've heard people say, "Divorce is not in the bible," thereby making people suffer in their homes when they should have walked out in peace. I always tell people, even in a relationship, if it isn't working, then it's not working. "You don't have to force things." Whatever that is, yours will come smoothly to you, and you don't have to stress over anything.

I believe the well-being of the parents comes first because they've been into the system called "marriage" and have faced the challenges together, they are the ones who possess the reason why they shouldn't continue in the marriage when its not working and not the children, forcing it for the sake of the children is only gonna make things worse. And the children being in a home where their parents don't love each other is gonna be more traumatic to them.

Being divorced doesn't mean one of the parent is gonna be absent from the life of their children. I've seen divorced parents being actively part in their children's lives. It solely depends on the parents involved.

Thanks for reading 🧡

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