Gone but alive in my heart

One thing that is inevitable in life they say is "death" Everyone lives to die one day, and the fact that it's inevitable makes everyone wanna live their best lives because you won't know when it will come knocking, It is very painful that you'd see someone today and the next day you'll hear that they are no longer with us.

That's the major reason we pray for longevity of life but yet you can't predict if you'll live for your desired number of years, it's too bad people have to die but then I keep questioning myself, what if death wasn't part of humanity? How would the world have been? Can the world accommodate that large number of humans? They say we can't question the creator but then there are some things you'd feel like only he can explain to our understanding, when my mum died I felt like the creator owed me an explanation for taking away the most important person in my life.

My mum was my everything, the very first human I got to love, the first person whose name I pronounced first, and my first tutor, most times I learned things from her without knowing I was learning then when I go out and start showcasing those things I've learned unconsciously, people will look at me and be like "how did you know these" then I would tell them I have the best teacher who is my best friend and more or should I say my babe and more.

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I know one day everyone will die but then I never expected it to happen to my mother the way it did, it came too soon, and I thought I would be given the privilege to share amazing moments with her forever, I had a lot of things planned " oh I wish I had known" I wish I could avert it and throw it into the forest so it can explode there. My mother woke up that morning and was complaining of the pains she was having then we insisted she stay at home and take care of herself.

Then her words "I won't work the whole day I'll come back home after a while" She left for work and never came back home to me, I sat outside hoping I'd see her coming and I ran to hug her and welcome her back home, all these were just in my head, I didn't want to accept the reality that my mother won't be coming home to me ever again.

*My mother is boldly selfless, that's the major reason I love her aside from the fact that she was my mother, most times when I see her doing certain things I question myself and be "Why is this woman so selfless" always ready to give even when she doesn't have much. *

The woman who taught me contentment, who never desired to be like others but herself, was satisfied with what she had, she never compared herself to anyone "She told me she was satisfied with the kind of person she is" and the place she is though she isn't at her desired place but she is thankful for the place she is at the moment, she was satisfied with having us around.

I am not gonna lie I haven't totally moved on, it's been seven years already how time flies, I can still feel the hurt in my heart like it happened yesterday, but then I'm in the process of moving on.

Thanks for reading🌹

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