2018 Memories; Some regrets of a mother
Memories are something I hold on to and I ma glad that I still ave these pictures with me. I really missed a lot when my kids were still small but I am grateful at the same time because I was able to help my husband build what we had to day. There were many struggles but God is good and had provided us of what we needed.
Pictures of my daughter, Chielly
When I had my second born, my husband and I agreed that I will continue my job and he would stay at home to tend to the kids, At that time, my eldest daughter was already in school and for us, life was hard at the moment; we were struggling financially as we had agreed to lease a piece of land in Valencia where my sister resided. It was small hill where we could plant corn and there were banana plants also but it was not successful. The area was too far and we had waited for five years for the contract to expire, since we could not go there, I asked my sister to till the land for us but whenever they get some income out of it, they would say that they could not give us becaus0e their motorcycle is damaged and needs a lot of money for repair. Well it was such a bad experience and it taught me that even if it was your relatives, when money is involved, the treatment will always be different. When the time came for us to get the money, they only pay us a small amount telling us that the owner of the land gave only a small amount but when we asked his son, he said it was fully paid and they never bother paying us the money we deserved. Because of this, I felt so betrayed, and lost my trust in them.
Me and My Kids
I treasured these moments so much because time really went by too fast, now my eldest daughter is almost as tall as I am and everything has almost changed in my kids including their attitudes. If we only had the chance, I would never leave my kids and guided them all the days.
I was not there when my eldest daughter had her Christmas party in Kinder, I prioritized my work because I wanted to earn a little more not knowing that it was far even more important than anything in the world. I have regrets about me not coming, and rushing ti own a farm but bygones just taught me to be patient because good things comes to those who wait and I thank God for that.
I am glad we made it through.
Have you ever looked back how you made it through life?
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Oh my gosh !Lady, I stumbled upon your post and instantly connected with it. I get incredibly emotional when I see pictures of my son when he was a baby, because I missed most of those early years. I was extremely lucky that I was there when he took his first steps, but as for everything else... the guilt is overwhelming. I wish I had been there for him. We were also struggling financially. My ex husband was struggling to find work but also had no motivation so I became the breadwinner of the family. This meant relentless hours in hospitality with very little time off on the weekend, where I would mostly sleep on my day off and lie on the couch watching soapy reruns because I was just so burned out.
I can't help but think everything hee does is a reflection of my bad parenting, but jeepers, I was trying to hold it all together. Plus I would get home from work, dishes unwashed, dinner not thought of and clung to by an attention starved child as my ex husband just was stuck in his PC.
Matthew had zero stimulation, at home. I mean, he went to school from 2 moths old, but he didn't have anyone playing with him at home or reading to him. Even just spending time with him finger painting or whatever. he was just left to play with the dog and do his own thing.
I can;t help but wish I could have been there during those formative years...
I divorced Matthew's dad when he was 5, but then I became a single mother. After that I moved in with my mother, who was an incredible help and helped me give him all the love aand attention he deserved. IT took a long time for him to come right, they even held him back a year at school, but I think it was better for him.
I have found a wonderful partner and husband person, @sakludick and he and his older kids have been wonderful in guiding him and caring for him. Especially @zakludick who ids filling the shoes of the fathe figure for all three kids, and I know MAtthew was missing that kind of rekationship with his dad, even though life was significanty better, with his dad. He's see him on odd weekends, but its taken a long time for things to settle do2wn and come right and they;ll never be oerfect.
Go easy on yourself momma. You did the best you coulld
!Luv'
!Hug
!Lady
!Indeed
!Sloth
!pizza
we may have missed out but we can always make up with the times we lost. I am glad things are getting better for you two and thank God he gave you someone who truly cares.
I wish all the best for us mothers who are struggling a lot
!Luv
!Lady
!Hug
This is the reason why I always take pictures of my niece and nephews. To keep memories of them when they’re still little babies, as time flies so fast.
That's very nice! I did jave many pictures back then but the Phone I used back then got damaged