It's all on me
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The more you let people be who they are, the better your relationship with them will be.
My relationship with my mother or my friend is not my mother's or my friend's responsibility.
It is mine.
It is only mine.
It is each person's own responsibility how they view and see their relationships.
And if I want my relationship with my mother or someone else to improve, I have to stop trying to get the other person to change. I am the one who has to change.
We often focus on the other person and the changes we would like or wish to see in them.
“I wish they would improve their attitude. I wish they wouldn't drink so much. I wish they would treat me better. I wish they cared more about me. I wish they would do this, that, or the other thing... I wish they would earn more money. I wish they would be more social or more proactive.”
All these phrases and thoughts begin with: “I WISH.”
And this is where we must stop.
Stop it.
Trying to change someone is not loving them. Let the other person be who they are. Don't force them to be what they are not, or to become someone they don't want to be.
If we want our relationship with someone to change, we have more power than that person to do so!
We can change our energy. We can change our approach or perspective. And if, after doing so, nothing changes, or things simply remain the same, we should start looking at ourselves. We should ask ourselves if we can choose to continue with this relationship. Not because the other person isn't perfect, but because we are unable to accept the relationship with that person.
Perfection does not exist. When we demand that others change, we must try to understand what we are asking or imposing. We ourselves find it difficult to change in order to accept, so if we already know that it is difficult for us to change, why do we demand that others do so?
It makes no sense to ask for something that is already difficult for each person to do on their own.
All the changes we make should not be done to please someone else. We should do them because we truly want to change.
Change always begins and ends with us. If there is something we identify that is not right, or that could be better, we should look at ourselves and, with that critical eye, analyze what we should change. What should we change so that we accept things as they are, or what can we change, not in the situation, but in the simple fact that we are giving too much importance to something we cannot control?
I hope you enjoyed my little daily reflection!
Bem Hajam🍀
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I understood your point. But what if the person is going the wrong way? It is our duty as family or friends to correct our self you know. That is why there is a saying that said be your brother's keeper. If there is need for someone to change then, we will or should ask them to change for the betterment of us all. Thanks for sharing.
well, in that particular way, for the best interest of our friend or family member, we should help them in the changing process. But if they don't want to change, there is particular no way that we can "force them" to do it... Trust me. Unfortunately I now by personal experience that is what happens. Only one can change for him/herself. No matter what we might think that is the opposite. It's rough...
You're right though. Like me now we have a sister who is an introvert, she doesn't talk to anyone even us her siblings, we don't know her pains and happy moments. For close to ten years now, we are still struggling to know what exactly is wrong with her. And the last time we went to see her, I personally told my siblings that, she is the only person that can change herself, we can only try our best. But she have the final say to her life. So I clearly understand what you are talking about.
I totally understand your thoughts and pains about the situation with your sibling. When we try so much to achieve something, and to reach out for the other person, but the other person doesn't allow us to be reached...
Thanks for understanding.