Filling in the gaps

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There are situations in our lives where something seems to be missing. The most immediate and almost instinctive response is to fill in the gaps.

By trying to somehow fill these gaps, or absences of something, instead of looking for the reason why we miss it or don't have it, we end up “filling” them with something that isn't exactly the same.

For example, for someone who has money, and who lacks a close companion, instead of looking for the cause for feeling or being lonely, they end up filling it with other things that they think will make up for the lack. Often, not to say almost always, we end up doing the easiest thing: buying something.

It's the easiest thing, because it doesn't require us to think about the reason for feeling incomplete. And it doesn't stop there. Not at all. The dopamine rush we feel when we buy something is such that it prevents us from even looking for the real cause.

And like anything addictive, it doesn't let us think about anything other than getting that same thrill again from the feeling of possession.

A few hours later, we don't even remember that we bought something. The feeling has passed... the dopamine levels have also recovered, and we're back where we started - the feeling of lack.

The only difference is that we now have something in our home, or in our lives, that we bought, that we probably didn't even need, and that we gave a certain amount of money for. Having bought that item, the price we paid for it, however low, actually represents part of our life. Time that we spent working in order to receive that value. If we didn't have to work to receive it, it ends up being part of the fund we have available to buy other things, which might even be more necessary for us.

In short, we end up becoming “poorer”, as we lose purchasing power, and less liberated, as we end up having fewer options to buy future objects or services.

We fill a gap with more suffering because we have less freedom and less economic independence.

By filling in the gaps in our lives using this strategy we are only applying a “Band-Aid”, which will not solve the real pain, and will only bring us more pain... Interesting, isn't it?

I hope you enjoyed my little daily reflection today!

Have a good weekend!

Cheers🍀

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7 comments
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Sadly some people get so addicted to that rush that they spend themselves into the poor house. I personally have grown to hate spending, raising a kid can have that affect on you... Great post!

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I personally have grown to hate spending, raising a kid can have that affect on you...

That is absolutely correct. But some parents look at their kids, and don't understand their true needs, and when they try to compensate with other "thing" they are making a double mistake.
I can say that you are doing a good job on parenting your kid. Looking for raising with intelligence and love, not with money centered education.

Thank you for your comment, TBH!
Enjoy your weekend :)

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Too much reflexion for a friday... I need to fill my need of sleep 😀
Have a great weekend

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That is on the very high part of the pyramid of needs! You can come with good outcome if you don't fill up that gap, my friend! Ahaha
Have a good weekend :)

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And it is impossible to fill a void because in the end it will remain a void.

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Indeed. The void cannot be filled from the outside. It should be understanded from the outside. And only then, when we realize what makes it a "void", we can make ir smaller and smaller.

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