Confidence

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Ever since I was little, I've felt that I'm not very confident in myself. Not only because of my own perception, but also because I end up hearing it from a lot of friends and people around me.

But where did this lack of confidence, or little confidence in myself, come from? Is it something that is innate, and then reflected so much in my actions and daily interactions that I have in personal or professional terms, that all others have to do is pay attention to notice it?

I'm not proud of many of my characteristics. But these basically, and almost exclusively, come down to physical characteristics or qualities. My personality and character, I confess, I like, because they're the things I identify with, and I don't think I'll ever give them up.

And what is confidence?

Is confidence an overestimation of our abilities? Or is it our ego, which is so inflamed that it projects itself around us, overshadowing everything around us? Is confidence thinking that everyone will love us?

I don't think so. I think that confidence, for some people, can even be that almost childish feeling of being loved by everyone and everything, but I think that confidence lies in the feeling or tranquillity of being at ease with yourself and the world, knowing that you are not loved by everyone.

As I've got older, there have been certain characteristics that I've been able to refine, so to speak. In the past, I tried very hard to please everyone. Nowadays, I no longer have that almost blind determination.

Nowadays, I force myself to try and do what I can to avoid disappointing or hurting the people I care about and admire, and I try not to hurt anyone. I feel that in this way I'm fairer to those closest to me, and I end up being fairer to myself too.

I don't go out of my way to give and make an effort just because I'm a people pleaser.

Confidence is not something that is like a child full of energy, running around without ever getting tired. Confidence is like a grandfather sitting in his favorite chair by the fire on a winter's day and waiting for the end of the day to rest his body. Trust is something less temperamental. Trust is patient, charitable and vigilant. It abandons no one, and no one abandons it. Even if the day is dark, and the clouds on the horizon may even herald a long storm, trust is in determination and waiting for daybreak, for a clear sky, and for the bright sun to rise!

Humanity needs more confidence in itself. We don't need fear, fear or false promises. We all fail. No one should point the finger to criticize when they don't step up and actually try to do better at what they think is most imperfect and could be improved.

I hope you enjoyed my little reflection for today.

Bem Hajam!🍀

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