𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮 - Tuesday 24 June 2025

Though I did some serious rewiring already, I am starting to see how stuck I have been in that scarcity mindset.

Limiting myself for decades....

Because planning a future feels like a luxury when survival is the focus.

These posts are:

𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑒𝓉.
𝒯𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒.

I am not my job; it took me some time to see that.
After a deep dent in my self-esteem, I did identify myself with my job. Or at least the fact that I had one.

Not that it matters if others have one, but when I moved into a new life, I left so much behind.

Back then, I was somebody, but what do I identify with if I do not have a real job? I made money doing some odd jobs like gardening and painting houses, but what did that make me?

I felt lost in this new country, in a new structure, and with no sense of identity.

It took me four years to find a "real" job again, but far longer to understand my identity.

Grateful for this journey, it taught me to look inside and not outside. A simple step, but figuring it out yourself is a quest.

Ego loves things it can make you hold on to, and to whisper that without it, "you are nothing."

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

The shaping of the mind and the creation of pressure starts with that simple question.

We have to think of something, because we can not be simply nothing, we can not just be, can we?

Not me, not yet.
I am still struggling to see who I truly am, but I thank myself for getting me this far.

That, at least, I do not give a flying cockroach about my job and what it makes me. It makes me able to pay the bills, save up for my near future.

That job; a blessing and a curse.
Maybe I would have never had the peace of mind to find my way without the stability that having a job offered.
Surely it delayed my looking into what I really want and who I really am.

The beauty of it all is that I think I just arrived.
How wonderful to have a clue who I am, and a pretty good idea of what I think is important.

I am finding myself, and by doing that, I am finding my way forward. And it does not have to mean fluff to anyone, as long as it is what I want to do with the gift of (my) life.

Even though I know I will leave this job in the very foreseeable future, I am thankful for all the lessons it taught me...even on a Tuesday.

Thank you for making it this far....for those who know me...or better, think they know me, this might have been a WTF moment.

There are many sides to all of us, some sides we hide, even from ourselves.
I can be an opinionated little prick, a loving father, or simply a lost soul.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.”
— William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Jim Morrison named The Doors after this concept. I agree that reality is filtered through our limited perceptions. But we can Break On Through to the other side.

"There are things known and things unknown, and in between are the doors."
— Jim Morrison

Our minds filter & reduce everything to a digestible and categorizable size, but in the process, we lose sight of the infinite abundance that surrounds us.