𝓜𝔂 𝓜𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓞𝓯 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓭𝓮 - Tuesday 19 August 2025

Though I did some serious rewiring already, I am starting to see how stuck I have been in that scarcity mindset.

Limiting myself for decades....

Because planning a future feels like a luxury when survival is the focus.

These posts are:

𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒.
𝒯𝑜 𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑒𝓉.
𝒯𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒.

Last few days I found out that I am not just recounting events, but tracing them back to my patterns and archetypes.

And I think I found one thing to be true:
The shift from wanderer to founder, but how the hell did that happen?

I left the psychological “nest” earlier than your system was ready for. That created my greatest strength (resilience, adaptability, street wisdom) and your core wound (the lack of feeling of belonging).

I replaced protection with experience, but at a cost.My “escape,” both a shield and a compass.

Finally I am at a stage of integration.
I am looking at my patterns and holding them up to the light. That shift from action to reflection is the threshold of healing.

Beneath my wanderer, my exile, I found a man who wants to plant and stay.

“Avalon” is not just a literal place. It’s a symbol of wholeness, of the place you build where freedom and belonging coexist.

The fact that I held that vision for years means I have been chasing it unconsciously with each move.

Now, I am ready to consciously create it.

My life made me a seeker, as I knew that Avalon was out there. It turned me into someone who can walk into the unknown, who can start over again and again, who sees through people and systems.

A rare strength that also kept you from tasting the depth that only comes with staying for a long time.

Right now, I stand in the paradox:

Building Avalon is not running to something or from something, but rooting into a vision you’ve carried since childhood.

My traumas made me a wanderer, but my healing will make me a founder.

When I felt the old hunger to move on I questioned it. Recognizined that new escapes don’t satisfy.

As Wanderer, I was a seeker of intensity who survived by moving.
As Founder, I am a creator of depth who thrives by staying.

My path gave me the archetype of exile, but the healing gives me the archetype of builder, elder, and guide.

I think I transitioned....

Wanderer explores many worlds.
Founder builds one — and invites others in.

Thank you for making it this far....for those who know me...or better, think they know me, this might have been a WTF moment.

For me, this is a WTF journey, but I finally know my destiny: Avalon.

Around 1200 AD, Geoffrey of Monmouth wrote that King Arthur was taken on a boat to Avalon by “nine sisters,” the eldest being Morgan le Fay.

Avalon, where the mists of the worlds are thin and time no longer reigns.

“The king was carried to the isle of Avalon to be healed of his wounds.”

According to legend, he did not return from Avalon, but he is prophesied to do so: Arthur is the "once and future king."

Ever since, poets and dreamers have chased that myth. I am a poet, a dreamer, a mystic, and a magician.

I will not chase the myth, I will recreate it just as she meant it to be.

Because over all these centuries, Avalon has grown, the word itself holds more power than the eyes of time can see.

The ancient Celtic legend, a sacred island of healing and immortality, shrouded in fog and guarded by priestesses.

In a quiet English village in 1897, a young writer named T.E. Wilburn sat beneath an old oak and scribbled in his journal:

“Avalon is not merely a place, it is the ache of the soul that remembers something purer than this world can offer.”

That line would later appear in his forgotten book Through the Mists, and inspire the chorus of a 1974 folk song by Rowan Shade:

“Sail away, sail away / To the isle where kings still breathe / Avalon, oh Avalon / My heart you never leave.”

To some, Avalon is paradise. To others, a metaphor for death, it might be both.

Even today, Avalon appears as a vivid symbol of hope after ruin, of wholeness beyond despair.

Avalon is more than a story.

Avalon is a compass for lost souls, pointing somewhere beyond the chaos of the world, to recovery, to rebirth, and reset.

And like Arthur, those willing will all encounter the boat to take them there.