Two Men, One Café, and a Love I Never Planned For

No one told me that some plot twists are lovable and caring. While most have the notion that a plot twist could be a rollercoaster or a shocking variation of feelings, like one straight out of a movie, I never thought it could be gentle in real life.

So what was the plot twist of my year?

I am dating someone.

Not a plot twist because it is a man, since it is normal and not something to be ashamed of, but a plot twist because I never thought I could love like this and be proud of the love I am experiencing now. But before anything else, I would like to sincerely tell you that you might be annoyed by my narration, because these words are formulated with this feeling of “butterflies in my stomach,” and just thinking about us makes me so happy and alive. I’m writing this like a kid.

Dating in my 20s was not in my bucket list, nor was searching for love I hold dear. But life has its own way of twisting and bending our rules and plans, and sometimes we are overpowered by it, unable to resist its offering. Love must be the best it can offer. It is so powerful that it can change someone’s life, perception, and feelings toward the things they value. It bends our rules in life, and it makes a person believe in its ideals even more. Simply speaking, it changes us and the way we do things, in the kindest and weirdest way.

I used to use drawing sessions as a pastime, but that was before my college years. It was in high school that I found my interest in drawing, especially child-like art. And to be honest, I am just a passionate guy when it comes to art, but that doesn’t mean I am good at it—drawing or using color theory. I appreciate art in a way that I admire it, but my hands couldn’t make it for myself. The weird thing is that it became a vital tool in my dating phase, and this is what I’ll share in this blog.

We now have countless dates in our favorite cafe in our town of San Remigio, mostly during dinner. Sometimes we also spend a day in a resort to relax and get to know each other even more. I’m excited to share all of them here, but let’s take it slowly, and surely they will be narrated here soon.

The other day, we went on a date—still a dinner—and I brought art materials so we could have some recreational activity while waiting for our food. But before going to the cafe, we had a good walk along the shore of Lapyahan, the longest shoreline on the island of Cebu, and let the afternoon hours pass by us until it got dark.

The challenge was to draw each other as a Ghibli character and explain why we chose that character and how it represents us. Dating is not always the kind of romance where you talk the whole time in the most formal way while eating fancy food or going to a movie house to catch newly released movies. Sometimes, it is two men sitting in a cozy cafe, with colors in their hands, sketch pads laid on the table, and silently crafting the best thing they could make to describe the person they hold dear.

While waiting for our orders, we started our activity in the most serious way. Sometimes, we would giggle silently, laughing at our drawings that were inaccurate. I learned that this man I am dating is not only my romantic partner; he is also a friend and a companion I enjoy doing things with. This activity helped us strengthen our bond and get to know each other more. This is friendship in romance. We tried not to peek at each other’s drawings and stopped for a while to eat dinner when the food was served at our table.

We ordered sizzling Hungarian, beef bulgogi, and pepper beef for our meal, and dirty matcha and apple soda fizz for our drinks. Beef bulgogi became my favorite in this cafe, as I have eaten here multiple times already.

We showed each other our drawings and explained why they represented us. Our explanations were not just explanations; they were doorways to understanding each other’s perception of ourselves and the way we think of one another. The words that came out of our mouths really matter in dating, as a mature mindset is so vital in a romantic relationship. How we described ourselves gave us a peek into how we are trying to know each other and remember the small things that represent our character.

The art interest I had forgotten after I started college is now ignited because of him. And I am happy to know I will be having many and countless art sessions with him that make art even more meaningful and purposeful. Art in dating is art with intention. We are not just drawing each other or crafting our identity; we are also making this dating and romance grounded in friendship.

Because for me, it is always friendship, dating, and romance that create a happy relationship.