Book Review || What Stay With Me Taught Me About Love and Humanity

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo is one of those books that leaves you an emotional mess even after you’ve turned the last page. It’s a story of love, betrayal, resilience, and the sacrifices people make in a desperate bid for happiness.

Warning: This review contains spoilers, so if you haven’t read the book, proceed carefully! Additionally, this article discusses topics related to infertility; if this is a sensitive subject for you, I recommend approaching it with care.

The Storyline
Set in Nigeria, the story follows Yejide and Akin, a young couple whose marriage is strained by their inability to conceive a child. Despite their deep love for one another (at least, at the beginning of their relationship), societal and familial pressures push them to unimaginable lengths. When Akin’s family introduces a second wife into the equation, Yejide’s world begins to unravel.

What starts as a story about infertility spirals into a labyrinth of secrets, lies, and emotional torment. It’s the kind of book that punches you in the gut repeatedly but somehow keeps you turning the pages.

I'll love to explore the characters in a positive light so, walk with me...

Yejide: The Protagonist
Yejide is a deeply relatable character. Her pain is evident, her determination admirable, and her choices, though sometimes questionable, are heartbreakingly human. She endures the shame of being labeled a barren woman in a culture that places immense value on childbearing.

There’s a scene where she climbs up a mountain to see a prophet, desperate for a miracle. “I breastfed the goat,” she says, describing a bizarre ritual as instructed by the so-called "prophet". You can feel the weight of her anguish in every word and action. And when she finally does conceive, the joy is fleeting, a cruel twist of fate snatches it away. 💔

Yejide’s actions, particularly her decision to leave at certain points, stem from a place of survival. She’s a woman pushed to the brink, fighting for her sanity in a world that refuses to give her space to breathe.

Akin: The Husband
At first glance, Akin seems like the villain; cold and deceitful. But as the layers of his character unfold, you begin to understand his choices. Akin’s impotence is a secret he guards fiercely, and his decision to bring in a second wife isn’t just about societal pressure; it’s about preserving his own pride as a man. After Yejide discovers that Akin is impotent and that he orchestrated the plan for her to conceive children with his brother, Dotun, without her knowledge, their confrontation is intense and heartbreaking.

One of the most haunting lines from Akin is: "I could not bear the thought of you with another man, so I chose my brother."

The raw and emotional dialogue in this scene captures the depth of their fractured relationship. His lies are born from fear, his actions from a misguided attempt to shield Yejide. It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it makes him painfully human.

Funmi: The Second Wife
Funmi is the character you love to hate. I know I'm reviewing the characters in a positive light, but Funmi is just impossible to justify. She’s manipulative, petty, and thrives on creating chaos. But, at the end of the day, even she is a product of her circumstances, a pawn in a game dictated by societal expectations. She represents the pressures women face to secure their positions, even at the expense of others.

Dotun: The Brother
Dotun’s involvement with Yejide is messy, to say the least. But his role shows depth to the desperation that drives each character. He becomes an outlet for Yejide’s loneliness, a symbol of the cracks in her marriage. While his actions are selfish, they also underscore the complexity of human relationships and how greed can truly direct the course of one's actions.

Why the Characters Act the Way They Do
One of the most powerful aspects of Stay With Me is its refusal to paint anyone as purely good or evil. Every character is shaped by their circumstances, their choices rooted in survival, pride, or desperation. And that is why I have chosen to also see why the characters are the way they are.

Yejide clings to hope, even when it destroys her. Akin lies because he can’t bear the weight of truth. Funmi schemes because she’s fighting for relevance in a world that diminishes women without children. Dotun acts impulsively, driven by his own desires.

It’s messy. It’s heartbreaking. It’s real.

My Final Thoughts
Reading Stay With Me felt like an emotional rollercoaster. There were moments I wanted to throw my phone across the room, moments I wanted to hug Yejide, and moments I couldn't hold back the tears. There were little glimpse of laughter too, though rare.

Ayobami Adebayo’s writing is poetic yet raw. The cultural backdrop adds depth, and the exploration of themes like infertility, gender roles, and mental health is unflinchingly apt.

If I had to pick a moment that hit me the hardest, it would be when Yejide reflects on her losses: “I had thought that if I loved deeply enough, I would be loved back to life.” This line encapsulates Yejide's emotional vulnerability and her blind belief in the transformative power of love. It reflects her desperate hope that the love she gives, particularly in her marriage to Akin, would heal her wounds, overcome their struggles, and restore her sense of self. However, her journey shows that love, while powerful, cannot always fix everything, especially when trust and honesty are lacking. This statement is one of many moments in the novel that lays bare Yejide's pain and longing.

This book challenged my thought pattern on a lot of topics. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys stories that make you cry and question your knowledge on certain topics. But fair warning: it’s not a light read. It’s the kind of book that stays with you; pun intended.

Rating: 4.8/5. A beautifully painful masterpiece.

The image in this article, although mine, was designed using Canva.
If you've read this far, thank you so much. You are amazing! :)