Protecting Your Peace: The Healing Power of Forgiveness and Journey to Self-Love | LOH #250

Hello, lovely Ladies of Hive! 💖

This week's challenge questions by @cautiva-30 are somehow deeply personal and a wonderful opportunity for us to reflect. These ask us to consider two great concepts: forgiving and loving oneself. These topics are so valuable because they both revolve around our own peace of mind, rather than those around us.

The first question asks whether we should always forgive, even those who may not be worthy of it. For me, forgiveness begins with us first from within our innermost being. When we have been hurt, we tend to blame the other party or even our self. However, true forgiveness is actually about accepting. In forgiving, we ought to accept and move on from the past.

I believe we should always forgive, but not to free the person who has wronged us, but to free our own peace and our future. When there are things that seem unforgivable and getting closure isn't possible, we have to forgive ourselves for being in that situation and choose to let go.

I recently watched a K-drama (Trigger) that perfectly explains this idea. People involved resorted to guns and let the justice be served in their own hands. What triggered them to use guns most of the time is the injustice they experienced despite being a law-abiding citizen; getting unfair treatment, getting scammed, or being bullied. They all ended up in jail after getting revenge.

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The protagonist, however, never decided to revenge despite his parents getting killed in front of him as a child. The murderer didn't seem sorry at all. When he was a child, he had the opportunity to shoot the killer as he was once asked to, but a cop prevented him, explaining that becoming a killer would also ruin his life. The cop said that leaving the killer to rot in prison was the best he could do to him. He grew up to become a police officer and just carry a stun gun in catching criminals. He’ll just use a gun only if it’s really necessary, and it is always his last option. Even as he had the opportunity to kill criminals, he always ensured they stayed alive to undergo justice.

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This taught me that revenge and holding a grudge is never the best answer; it only makes it worse. What we can best do is to forgive and forget, and leave it to God. In forgiving, you always win. You're opting for peace, not anger. You're choosing peace over anger.

The second question asks how we can begin to love ourselves, especially when no one teaches us how to. For me, self-love means making yourself feel better; it could be by taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. It starts with small, daily actions, like setting aside "me time" to do something you enjoy, whether that's pampering yourself, playing with your pets, going to the gym, or treating yourself with a reward. It can also include practicing positive self-talk and celebrating your small wins.

But the most important first step in my journey to self-love was learning to set boundaries. I learned this the hard way, after years of watching my mom. I've always seen her as selfless; she was always helping other people, especially her siblings. But sometimes, they took advantage of her, and even when she had helped them so much, they would talk bad about her just because of one time she couldn't help. I realized those people were just ungrateful.

Over time, I learned that you can't please everyone, and it's not always your fault if people don't appreciate you. So now, I focus on valuing those who appreciate me and cutting off toxic people in my life to protect my peace of mind. Self-love is about accepting your flaws and who you are, and the freedom to disregard the views of others, especially if they're not true.

Ultimately, both forgiveness and self-love are about choosing yourself. They're about healing, letting go of that which hurts, and focusing on that which settles your peace. ✨