Can We Talk About How Ghetto Dating Has Become?
Who changed the curriculum of dating? Why did it change? Back before the COVID era, I viewed dating differently. It felt like a good experience. Or was I just naive? Maybe what I see now was always there, but I didn't have the lens to notice it.
These streets have turned ruthless. Everything feels transactional. And when you bring pure intentions to the table, you often find the other person stuck in "what's-in-for-me" mode. Or maybe our minds are so messed up that we can't even recognize pure intentions anymore.
I recently had a conversation with a male friend, and honestly, it left me disappointed. He said, "If you look at how it is today, I'm not even interested. All these narcissistic women... I'd rather buy food for the homeless than go for a first date in a restaurant."
Seriously?
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for helping the homeless. But that response? It hit me sideways. So, I asked him why he felt that way.
He said, "Because many women use men to get a free meal in a restaurant."
What the...?
I couldn't hold back. "But don't men use women to get laid?" I shot back.
He nodded, "Wanna know why?"
"Sure, enlighten me."
"Because most women have nothing but problems. They want things but have nothing to offer. And many men just want sex... it's simpler."
Stunned, I asked, "What exactly should a woman offer? And what has a nice meal at a restaurant got to do with a woman being narcissistic?"
His answer? "Because you take them out and never hear from them again."
I tried to reason with him. I flipped the situation. "What if the vibe just doesn't match? What if you take a woman out who checked all the boxes over text, but in person, she's completely different, not what you imagined? And you decide not to see her again. Does that make you a narcissist?"
He went quiet.
I just sat there wondering.... Have I been getting it wrong this whole time? If going on a first date, where the vibe doesn't vibe, can get me labeled as narcissistic, then honestly, I feel lost.
Could someone pass me a dating cheat sheet? Because this new curriculum feels cold, confusing, and dangerously outward-in. It's like we're all busy performing, or manipulating, instead of just being.
Maybe I'll just sit on the sidewalk for a while and wait for the system to reset.
Thank you for reading.
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Oh I for sure think it’s all changed. I don’t know what the trigger was but for sure the last four years have changed people in a lot of ways. I’m no longer in the dating pool, and haven’t for many years, but I can imagine with how I see people today, how dating is vastly different than when I was looking. Apparently even bars are pretty quiet because people don’t go to them as much as they used to. Weird!
It's a lot different. I don't even know what happened to courting. Right now it's - meet, straight to bed, then realize you don't even feel them, ghost, and repeat. And when one dares to be different, boom! It's like you committed a crime. It's a total mess out here. But being on the sidewalk helps. Right now, I am learning to use other people's mistakes. I ain't ready to learn from my mistake. Hehe.