My Standards for Marriage: Beyond the Surface

Most of us grow up imagining what it feels like to be married, as we often either want to have a beautiful family just like our parents did or do it better than theirs. Personally, for me, I don't see marriage as a goal or a destination. Even though society seems to have an unwritten rule regarding when to get married and the like, for me, marriage is a sacred partnership, and until I locate the right one, I will remain single.Because it should be built on mutual respect, shared values, understanding, and the like, not just all about physical attraction or fleeting emotions, so in this article I'll be telling you my take on marriage, criteria I'm on the lookout for, and many more related things.

Growing up, I've seen a lot of people describe their dream partners' features, such as tall, dark, and handsome, or on the other hand, curvy, light-skinned, and beautiful. I don't see anything bad about having preferences, but overall, what I've come to understand through the years via my experience with married people is that when setting standards for marriage, It should go beyond physical traits or surface-level fantasies, like we all know dating and marriage aren't the same. While dating is more fun and lighthearted, marriage, on the other hand, is a serious
business. Here, commitment, character, and compatibility truly matter and shouldn't be joked with, so you won't rush into marriage only to rush out of frustration.

I'm sure with all I've said above, you'll be wondering if all those things aren't enough, what then is my standard for marriage? Firstly, if you're close to me, I'm sure you'll know that I value peace of mind above anything else, so I won't want to get into marriage with someone who would give me tension rather than peace each time I come home. Marriage is enjoyable when you're with someone whose presence feels like a safe haven.

Because at the end of the day, with age, physical beauty may fade, but the feeling of peace that comes from having a stable and supportive partner would remain because it's priceless. Alongside that, I've also got character and behavior on top of my list. Beauty can attract a man or woman to you, but what retains them is usually your character, and that's why it's one thing I'm on the lookout for in my partner.

Talking about the character of my partner, I want someone who's morally upright, honest, emotionally mature, and kind and values growth. Basically, I need a partner who's intelligent, who listens and communicates, and isn't afraid to work through challenges and tough times with me. We all know life is unpredictable, so I don't want someone who runs away at the sight of tough times.

Talking about the aspect of finances and romance, the society often believes men should be the major stakeholder in a family, so it's not like I'm looking for a billionaire partner that'll take me out of poverty, so all I want is a balance: someone who has a source of income and is financially responsible, has vision and is willing to build with me, and gives me valuable advice. Romance, on the other hand, is important and one of the few things that fuels connection and keeps the love burning, which is good, but I know it can't replace shared responsibilities, effort, and loyalty.

Talking about roles we both play, no one is a slave to the other as we're both adults, so I believe in teamwork, doing things, and sharing responsibilities that align with our family goals, from raising kids to managing the home, chasing dreams, and the like. Each of our contributions would bring out the best in our union. Regarding submission, a lot of people usually misunderstand this word and see it as a problem in their marriage. I think it should work both ways; that's mutual submission. We should both sacrifice for each other and support ourselves. Doing this isn't controlling or feeling superior but all about cooperation, trust, and willingness to put each other first.

Overall, what I want is to get married to my best friend, someone I can laugh with, pray with, cry with, and grow old with; a wife who's more like a sister, a mother to our children, and a partner in every season till death do us part. In a nutshell, in truth, I love beauty, but more than that, I want depth, substance, and a marriage that feels like home.

All photos are taken and edited on canva.