Bueno, este fue mi aporte para la iniciativa, le envío un gran abrazo a toda la comunidad 🤗. Me gustaría invitar cordialmente a @cajiro, @pannavi y @germanandradeg a participar.

English Version

Initiative: Backpacks that don't belong to us 🎒

In this opportunity @iriswrite proposed a very interesting topic to reflect on: the weight of guilt in our lives. How many of us have carried a burden that does not belong to us? A large part is not saved from this generational accumulation, rather few are those who have or have had healthy family ties.

She mentions two events that marked her and the first one is quite strong because it tells us about suicide and the little importance that is usually given to it. We have been taught that mental illnesses are the sole and exclusive responsibility of the person who suffers from them and that is not so. Self-injury is a consequence.

It is true that it is our decision to heal and change what is not right in us as persons, but the genesis of this damage is found precisely in the close environment and in what has continued to be repeated, what has been denied in that dysfunctional nucleus.

Then, guilt continues to appear as a solution to all problems without questioning internally in a healthier way, that is, without falling into judgments or finger-pointing, simply analyzing the whole genealogical tree with a cool head. Looking back we can find many surprises.

With the issue of depression, we could discover that the person who consummated the act of taking his own life was not the only one who had suffered from depression in the family. Perhaps in that circle the reflex of evading reality was assumed as a defense mechanism to anesthetize the trauma and repress emotions, instead of talking and healing.

In my family several have suffered from anxiety and depression and that helped me to see a lot of myself as well. I have been one of the few who decided to go to a psychologist to dig deep and find the causes, which then led me to understand the consequences, (although for a while that brought me a sea of resentment).

We all carry a backpack (backpack / bag) on our backs and it is not fair to carry others that are not ours. Each of us comes to learn something in this life and that weight can become a nightmare if others give us their backpacks to work on for them.

What is toxic guilt?

In summary, let's imagine that one or more people implant a chip that does not belong to us, however, they make us believe that it is ours through manipulation and emotional blackmail. That is, we end up feeling a guilt that does not come from our bad actions, we have not done anything wrong. The wrong has been done to us by the other in order to exert control over us.

This becomes an endless prison with no way out, if we disagree they make us feel that we are betraying them and if we try to run away from there, the guilt stops us. This wound is not easy to heal, it affects our self-esteem and the way we relate to others. It can trigger depression (part of what happened to me).

It is the most common family wound passed down from generation to generation and is, likewise, deeply rooted in society. As @iriswrite said, “Why does there always have to be a culprit, surely because someone needs to prosecute.” The habit of pointing fingers from every point of view has been created, we see it daily in social networks, which are a great example of this.

This does not allow us to move forward in life and can affect the formation of our identity as people, because the control exercised by those who blame us teaches us to be emotionally dependent on others. Behind a submissive person who does not know how to defend himself or set limits to the aggressions of others, there may be a lot of internalized guilt since childhood.

The only solution to this is to break the cycle so as not to keep repeating the same pattern of our ancestors. Whoever becomes conscious manages to heal the family tree and move forward. We cannot be responsible for those who choose to continue in the same cycle, each process is individual and it is normal that those of us who decide to get out of it are seen as enemies.

We come to evolve 🙌, we can't get stuck by other people.

Well, this was my contribution to the initiative, I send a big hug to the whole community 🤗. I would like to cordially invite @cajiro, @pannavi and @germanandradeg to participate.