Promise Mascot Agency Or How I Realized I was Playing Another Yakuza Game

Damn, I just wanted to play a management game. Hire a bunch of funny mascots, tell them to work near endlessly, and find some way to exploit them while seemingly being a goody two shoes. You didn't have to get into my feelings about an ex-Yakuza fixing a town.

Might as well call it Yakuza spin-off, in the most lowkey possible way, because man, the story cuts deep. How did being an agency for mascots become an investigation into a ghost town related to a Yakuza group that tried to mine coal, but an accident led to dark secrets, conspiracies, and an entire seed of local government corruption. Actually, all of this could have been squeeze in 1/4 runtime.

• Return investment or else

Michi finally got the business picking up, with more subcontractors and merchandise sales added to the mix. He now has to forward some of those earnings to his family in Kyushu. Or else the Nakamura alliance might have their heads.

Pinky and I have been on a mass hiring spree, till we got all the poke--I mean the mascots. The land might've been cursed by spirits, but these mascots bring in so much life to them. Their absolute unique characteristics are one of the few reasons I kept headhunting for. One of the Bat mascot is so humble, takes the lowest amount of shares per job and hasn't said a single thing.

Managing these guys are like keeping close-knit on family. They have personal struggles, each needing assistance before their stats are boosted to do their jobs better, with the highest motivation and such. I managed to clean up fox temples, increased accruing job pay by 30%.

Yeah, that's a lot of numbers, man. Millions of Yen, yet not enough to pay back the twelve billion yen that was stolen for the Nakamura alliance. But I believe my family can push forward harder. I truly believe....yeah, there's no way I'm playing this game for dozens of hours just to farm that much cash. Though I'm curious to know if that'll change anything if I did.

Promise Mascot Agency provides the experience of learning the Japanese culture, folklore, responsibility, and the inner dealings of Yakuzas, how both of their irrelevance in the modern age are intertwined together to find ways to thrive once again.

Old guards are asked questions about the past, some buried so deep, I need to have ten more different character expositions, and background stories to create that much forward momentum. Something, something about a mining disaster, that had a ghost story acting as a smokescreen. Nice to know I farmed money, and take care of my employees meanwhile.

Some dialogue boxes are voiced, most not so much. So no worries about speed reading the heck out of it all. But you need the mascot heroes, the townfolks can provide so much assistance against any foibles of these poor mascots. If we stick together, we can Super Sentai formation our way out.

• Et tu, Kyodai?

Sometimes secrets remain for a reason, uncovering it means you learn who's on what side. Sometimes you're closer to the blade's edge. The world has forsaken you and him, the family can no longer keep up to provide the life you all want. We all shed our dreams and put everything we have in us to move on. Sometimes it takes more to protect the ones you love.

Oh brother, I played all the Yakuza games, and this one so far put its priority on collecting stuff, micromanaging fictional characters, and just overall exploring the dwindling town, becoming a bustling attraction zone for the mascots. But why can't people be normal for once?

Our last bet to seal the deal, and payback the money, is through the national Grand Prix tournament for mascots. Hosted by a washed up has-been Temu-Vegas jackoff named Mike Miller. Oh, he was so annoying to see everytime I saved my mascots from crisis.

Turns out it was rigged, and the Fujiwara were waiting to put my family out of business, while we were losing the games that were set up against us. But through the power of friendship, and cliché plot-armor, all the people I helped formed up a super-group version of the cards that had the power to topple the sun. So we kicked a** and saved the day. Thank you for reading!

Above screenshots and GIFs are from personal recordings only

Check out my Substack content