Grand Theft Turnip (Turnip Boy Robs A Bank)

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Speaking of fun meme games, this one I definitely won't refund. Especially considering it's probably more than 4 times the length. But, the Turnip boy returns, now a legend after his last fiasco. Out of the beaten path and into a new one.

This time, it's a roguelite heist game, because the mafioso family links that he has demands it to be. I got a weird group going, like an avocado becoming a designated programmer, a cyborg from the dead bringing goodies, two arms dealer beans, and all of us with a mafia head pickle. Committing an even bigger federal offense; robbing a bank.

Since am doing most of the work, I get to do all kinds of errand jobs. Like shaking up the other fruits and vegetables, breaking statues, find a granny veggie's husband and forcing him to sign divorce papers, soliciting vandalism, collecting souls, stealing weapons, priorities man, it's for the greater good. Meanwhile, I find hurdles of not owning items to crack safe, before I use shakeup money to buy them for the next run.

Unfortunately, not everyone gets what they want. Take this artiste, for example, he got a reality check but instead of reading the situation, he daftly maintains his optimism. I was annoyed because everything is so procedural generated, finding his client was hard.

As I go on my rampage, seeing the effects of my previous crusade had on the economy, the game's world building opens up, but it never makes me question about what I did to the system. And why should I? Most of those in charge are privileged and self-indulgent.

I've also learned that Avocados lie, the rest of the characters are wacky, Saturday morning cartoon sprites, spouting every nonsensical tirade that modern A.I. does from your favorite 4chan to Reddit boards. Is there a point to all this? Maybe for the nice laugh I'll have, least I am not forced to focus on one thing at a time.

And the great thing is, every run on the bank I earn cash, the more rooms I find, more money I steal, the more I get to push my limits of the carnage I get to unleash on the bourgeoisie, especially on the lazy enforcers that keep the place going.

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Look, I don't condone violence against the police, but this game, it makes me want to start a revolution, you know. It's not that gameplay has depth and complexity, no it's a simple twin stick shooter. With RPG mechanics involving upgrades, and unlocks.

It's pretty balls to the wall with everything going on, various weapons from a pistol to a sword that looks like a toy made from nut sprouts. It's kind of corny fun, but also in an endearing way. Simple to play, but is skill-based for most part.

I know I should be specific about the things here, but that would be defeating the purpose it was made for. It's fairly challenging, but can be easily confusing unless the tutorials are followed through. Which in design kind of slows the pacing a bit when I am in a rush. Each run in the bank at first has a 3-minute timer, there's no map clearly showing the way.

It treats the player like they're 6-year-olds high on Coke drinks, and for that energy to be released, every single dialogue is read and sped through. All the jokes are being processed in the brain every millisecond. No time to contemplate, enemies drops a gun, I pick it up to give for research in order to unlock a bigger, better gun. Money looting is limited unless I upgrade my bag, but collecting items to be sold later doesn't.

The BGM is pretty solid enough to add up to the dopamine rush, especially when someone like me is in a boss battle, the garlic head of security told me to leave him alone, but I poked bear, and so a mighty battle ensued as well.

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The progression system is pretty solid, I mean there's one where I have to procure items to crack things like vaults doors, safes, lasers, actually I don't know what the haunted brick actually does, but they're necessary to progress and gets exponentially expensive too.

I mean, if this is what the dark web has to offer, I feel kind of embarrassed, who charges 12K for a freaking cardboard box?! But thankfully, my cyborg buddy got me covered on the upgrades, bumping up the timer as well. Even though his stuff gets even more stupidly expensive, it forces me to step up, which playing longer, gameplay gets more insane.

I would talk about the guy who asked to use a crayon to vandalize paintings in the bank, or the radish who lost his GPU because he was busy mining for BUTTCOIN, or the guy who needs to get muscled in order to pay off his debt. But I'd be spilling a lot.

Like, sure some moral gray area is around but all the cash, how can I not. My struggles extend to even the Shakespearian drama of patriarchal (or matriarchal) genocide where I rip the parental figures of little girls, especially this one, whose grandma did not get the proper dying experience, yet this lady started changing the subject pretty quick.

Ok, I'll level with you dropping the lingo, this is a silly sh!tposting game that is actually fun. It's bananas to put it exactly. There's so much going on, the level designs are puzzling to explore, but it rewards the obscene design choices with a lot of interesting discoveries.

Anywhere you go, somebody has some errand to give, but the end result doesn't always with more rewards, it also ends on weird social commentaries too. If you're not sold on the insanity yet, there's a blazing anthropomorphic Excalibur telling me to collect souls, basically just the ones from the security guys that attack me. Also, it's on Game Pass now.

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