When Friends Shape Our Future: A Reflection on Peer Influence
A couple of years back in a private school, I was teaching then, I remembered that while I was in class teaching, a girl did something that irritated me. Though every job has its own hazards, I consider this one of the challenges of teaching. If parents don’t come to school to lay complaints, then students will likely misbehave. I wouldn’t have felt bad if the girl had always behaved that way, but it seemed she had started moving with peers I could describe as a bad influence.
This reminded me of my secondary school days. There was something we called "peer group." Back then, peer pressure was a topic that appeared in two of the subjects I offered, and our teachers did a great job emphasizing its importance.
According to Wikipedia, a peer group is both a social and a primary group of people who have similar interests (homophily), age, background, or social status. Members of this group are likely to influence a person’s beliefs and behaviour.
Peer group influence is simply encouragement through persuasion by one’s peers.
During my school days, we were made to believe that peer pressure was mostly negative, like getting involved with bad gangs who influenced you to do things you never intended. But in my opinion, peer pressure or influence can be either good or bad depending on the people you surround yourself with. One can always decide not to follow the crowd if they notice unruly behaviour from peers and withdraw before it becomes too late.
Another point is this: nothing is inherently good or bad; it all depends on how we act. In fact, what most people need in their lives right now is peer influence, someone who encourages or mentors them, someone who can push them into action.
Be the one bringing the pressure. Peer pressure is good when you are the one applying it purposefully and intentionally. Like the adage goes: “Show me your friend, and I’ll tell you who you are.” There’s no doubt that whoever you associate with will influence you, either positively or negatively.
If you want to get results, you need pressure, and only your peers or someone you respect can give you the kind of pressure that produces results.
Stay around people who challenge you positively. Choose friends whose influence you genuinely admire. Remember, your friend doesn’t have to be your age, mate. Learn from those with experience. Find a mentor.
I confronted the girl and checked her behaviour. She later apologized and promised not to move with the said company of friends again and then turn a new leave. In the end, I was happy she accepted she wrong and promised to adjust.