Serie A, the New Retirement FC

Image Source: @TrollFootball

I used to joke that Manchester United was just Real Madrid’s pension plan with better weather. You know, where old Galácticos came to collect their last fat paychecks. First it was Di María, then Varane, then Casemiro, I mean, who’s next? Luka Modrić perhaps

But you see this season? I’m smiling. Because for once, it’s not us.

Serie A has officially taken the baton.
They’re now the designated elderly care home for ex-Ballon d'Or nominees with 40-year-old knees and world-class CVs. Just look at that photo. Mhikitaryan, Kevin De Bruyne, Modrić... all lining up like they’re waiting for joint pain meds at the pharmacy. What's funnier is they'll probably still start games week in, week out.

As a humble Manchester United fan, I'm only here to beg that they come get Uncle Eriksen. Don’t get me wrong, I respect him. But sometimes I genuinely think he’s just jogging around Old Trafford doing cardio. That Unc can't mark a cone even if his life depends on it.

And since clubs in Italy love experience so much, come and carry more!
We have:

Eriksen (comes with a calm aura and excellent LinkedIn skills)

Casemiro (5x UCL winner, 100x slide tackle merchant, just don’t ask him to run🤫)

Jonny Evans (free of charge, comes with Premier League experience)

We’ll send you our aging legends. We can even throw in Rashford since he'll rather stroll on the pitch than pressing.

Let us rest. Let them rest. Let Serie A shine in its new role as football’s finest retirement facility.