💐 {11/01/26} ✦ "My shoulders feel lighter, as does my heart" 🦢 ❤️‍🩹 💤 | LOH N° 271 ✦ 🇪🇸 │ 🇺🇸

En los efectos positivos sentí como si mi corazón se hubiera liberado de una atadura que ni era consiente de que lo constreñía; fue como abrir una ventana después de tener por mucho tiempo cerrada una habitación, fue sentir el aire fresco y el sol de la manera mas maravillosa, pura y simple. Es como pasar de respirar a medias a respirar completamente.

En los efectos negativos, me embargó una sensación de inquietud preocupante sobre dejar algo sin completar, a la vez que procesaba que no había algo así como una solución terminal a muchos problemas en la vida, especialmente aquellos que son creados-sostenidos por personas que disfrutan el conflicto, que lo alimentan a propósito porque algún beneficio obtienen de eso, porque son seres humanos que no saben existir de otra manera y han hecho de eso su forma de vida.

Es complicado no sentirte involucrado cuando hay personas que te preguntan qué hacer. Mi cariño sincero y mis consejos siempre estarán allí para quien lo necesite, pero mi salud se ha visto afectada porque empatizo hasta las entrañas con el dolor ajeno y la injusticia me da acidez severa... así que sentarme en este nuevo paisaje ha sido realmente un cambio significativo en mi forma de vivir los días.

Así que bueno amigos, estoy luchando paso a paso para aplicar esto del cierre de ciclos, resistiéndome a volver a viejos hábitos, insistiendo en re-enfocar la atención a nuevas maneras de experimentar las cosas... porque todo se ha tratado puramente de fuerza de voluntad, nada en el plano de lo mental es fácil o rápido.

! [ENGLISH VERSION]

Without exaggerating, from day one I noticed both positive and negative effects on me from that decision:

On the positive side, I felt as if my heart had been freed from a bondage I wasn't even aware was constricting me; it was like opening a window after having a room closed for a long time, it was feeling the fresh air and the sun in the most wonderful, pure, and simple way. It's like going from breathing halfway to breathing fully.

On the negative side, I was overcome by a feeling of worrying unease about leaving something unfinished, while at the same time processing that there was no such thing as a final solution to many problems in life, especially those that are created and sustained by people who enjoy conflict, who feed it on purpose because they get some benefit from it, because they are human beings who do not know how to exist in any other way and have made it their way of life.

I want to free myself from the “Joan of Arc syndrome,” which, just when I thought I had cured myself of it, comes back to hit me with full force.

It's hard not to feel involved when people ask you what to do. My sincere affection and advice will always be there for those who need it, but my health has been affected because I empathize deeply with other people's pain, and injustice gives me severe heartburn... so sitting in this new landscape has been a really significant change in the way I live my days.

So, my friends, I am struggling step by step to apply this idea of closing cycles, resisting the urge to return to old habits, insisting on refocusing my attention on new ways of experiencing things... because it has all been purely about willpower; nothing on the mental plane is easy or quick.