Waiting for the Verdict
I dread the release of semester results. I dread that cold that grips me the moment our class representative sends that familiar, “results are out. Check your portals” message. Those words used to run my blood cold and my heart would race as though I were being chased by something invisible but very real. Thing is, those times I waited for semester results, one thing which we all carried in mind as a department was, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many nights you stayed awake reading, you never really know what waits for you on the other side of that login page.
Results are actually supposed to reflect effort. They are meant to be fair, mathematical and clean. But sometimes, they feel like a gamble, at least the University I attended made it feel that way.
There were semesters I walked into exams confident, papers answered with clarity and care only to be met with grades that were a literal slap in the face. The truth most of us fear to say out loud is, merit is no longer enough. Some lecturers grade with their pockets, not their conscience. So you gather courage and walk to their offices and you ask questions you already know the answers to and also listen to explanations that never quite explain. In the end, they hit you rather cunningly with a suggestion, to pay the price of a better outcome. Lol.
That is the real dread, not even the result itself, but what it represents. A system where effort can be ignored and excellence buried. A system where education, meant to liberate, teaches you how corruption works.
Each time I refresh my portal, I’m not just checking grades. I’m checking whether honesty survived the semester, whether my work was seen or whether integrity still exists in a place built to nurture minds. To be very open, sometimes, the most frightening part isn’t seeing a low grade, it’s realizing that the report says less about you and more about the system judging you.
Well, I’m glad to be done with that school.
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