When Love Becomes a Nightmare

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Hello, I just wish that whoever will read this letter will understand the struggles I've been through in loving someone. It's a beautiful thing to be in love but the worst thing to happen to someone is not being loved in return. Spending a whole lot of resources on someone that my heart yearns for every night and day and not having the same energy from him can be disappointing and mentally draining.

Every night I sit back to think about my life. Why is my love life different from other ladies? I do ask myself, I have seen other women so fortunate in love, they put in some energy for it and the same is reciprocated. Some of them are loved unconditionally but in my case, instead of a man to love me, I always see myself loving him more than he does. When this happens, I am taken advantage of.

This relationship I am currently in is not healthy and productive for me. I see it as a one-way relationship. It is parasitic. I do almost everything that a man is supposed to do. I do the calling always, I do the checking up, and I ensure that everything goes seamlessly. If I don't do any of this, he won't do them. Looking back at all these, I think it's high time I walked out of this so-called relationship. To me, it's a trap and I wish that someone could come to my help. Each time I made up my mind to move on, I saw myself entangling again; it's as if I am emotionally trapped with him. I hope someone can help me out. Please, is this what relationships look like?

My past relationships have always been like this, I think the mistake mostly comes from my end. As I am writing this letter, I am pouring out my mind so others can understand what I've been through in the last one and a half years of my life. I think I've wasted these years in an unproductive relationship that will amount to nothing. My head is full and I am in total confusion. Should I leave or stay? What if I stay at the end, he throws me out and gets another girl? What if I leave, and he later changes his character? I am afraid of leaving because I love him too much. All I need from him is to love me back. Is that too much to ask for? I wish my desires could be met.

This night is one of those nights I woke up to think about my life and my future. It's 2:30 am from my end, and I believe that anyone who reads this letter can take a clue from what I went through every day. After a whole session of talking things out with him, he promised a change several times but after that, nothing changed in his character and priorities. I have come to the conclusion that he doesn't have an iota of love for me and in that case, I think the best thing to do is to walk out of this contraption called love.

Goodbye!!