My Heart Aches With Emptiness: The Loss is so Loud!

Emptiness, or the void the departed person leaves in our lives and hearts, is one of the emotions associated with grief. We know that that hole needs to be occupied by life. Nevertheless, getting out of bed and figuring out how to start over seems like an impossible task at this early point in our grieving process—more importantly, starting over without the person who was filling the void we are now experiencing.

The most agonizing day of my life, July 10, 2024, is also the first anniversary of my mother's passing in heaven—the lowest point in my life.

The person you never want to say goodbye gives the most agonizing farewell.

Losing someone is, so far, the most complex pain I have experienced in the world. Be it a loss due to their passing away, their departure, or the end of their intended existence in your life.

To grow back to where it was, so much time and heart must be invested. I lose a little piece of myself, which takes away some of me. I then begin to fantasize about the what-ifs and other scenarios. Every person I meet, wherever I go, and everything I do is a haunting reminder of her.

The hardest part is living with the reality that the only place I can relive those moments is in my imagination. I am left to fend for myself because she has vanished and is no longer here. It is a cyclical state in which strong feelings emerge suddenly and unexpectedly."

The unbearable, life-altering, earth-shattering pain of losing a mother has a profound effect on a person's soul. For an only child such as myself, the loss is exacerbated by the fact that I am mourning not only the passing of my mother but also my closest friend, confidante, and lifelong friend.

The bond between daughter and their mother is unique and unparalleled. I cherished our time together, our whispered secrets, and her unwavering support. When my mother died, so did my best friend and parents, leaving a void that seemed impossible.

The loneliness that follows a mother's death is unmatched. Suddenly, the world seemed strange, and I felt like floating through life without any anchor. Her absence is a constant reminder of the hole in my heart, and the grief can be unbearable. In these lonely moments, I long for her reassuring embrace, wise words, and the warmth of her unwavering love. Fortunately, I have spent more time on this earth with my mother than I will ever spend without her.

My mother was delighted to impart all her knowledge on womanhood, people, authenticity, love of God, love of family, hard work, wisdom, health, forming relationships, writing, and leading an honorable life. I honor her because she taught me the skills to survive without her.

Paying tribute to my mother's legacy has given me solace and strength during my grieving process. I used her life as a canvas to express my sorrow, honoring her life and achievements and keeping her memory alive. Through deeds of compassion, volunteer work, or artistic pursuits, I found that grieving could be made more bearable and purposeful by maintaining her spirit alive.