RE: Daddy's Issues.
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One of the challenges I face as a parent is my own parents. Whether I do the opposite of them, or the same as them now, it is an issue, because it means my current actions are tethered to their behaviours, and good or bad, the opposite doesn't mean it is the right thing to do. Either way, I need to stop using the past as a model for the future, and work out what is the right way for now.
And live that way.
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I'm glad I don't have that dilemma. I think my parents did a fairly good job, good enough to not really think about them much in my parenting style - which probably means that they have indoctrinated me successfully 😅 I did work through most of my childhood experiences before I became a father, though, that might influence as well.
Identifying what you value as good or bad is a good step there. There will be some similarities, and some contraries. I usually have that kind of inner conflict with Lily's mother. I'm trying my best to balance out all her actions by being very contrary. Very stable, for example, reliable. Ironically, her being so obnoxious in quite a few ways helped me define who I am.
And now that you write it - yes, of course trying to teach other people's values won't work out really well, either. I hadn't thought of that, but it makes sense.