Global Eyes
I have just spent the last hours doing my homework, like I am back at school, after getting the teacher's red pen corrections. The teacher this time though is my wife and what she is correcting is my CV - which I had already updated.
But not well enough.
The suggestions she has made are actually really good and far better than I would have come up with in such a short time. She does have a fair amount of experience reading through thousands of resumés that cover the full spectrum of brilliant to ghastly, as she works in recruiting.
And is very good at her job.
And well, my first effort was definitely on the ghastly side, and my second effort was much better. But once I sent that through for "grading", I already knew it was lacking. For what might be a surprise to many here, I often just don't have the words, and there is no place more sparse when I am forced to talk about myself, my achievements, or my history. I think it is because, I don't find much of that important. The question I quickly move to is,
"What's next?"
This is a terrible approach in many respects, because it tends to gloss over achievements and for many people, it probably feels like what they have done is not good enough. That is not what I intend by that though, it is just that whatever has come in the past, no matter how good, can still be improved on. So, the next step is to work out where and how to improve.
While I am getting better at it, I still need to put more energy into celebrating the wins along the journey, rather than only celebrating when the task is done. Because ultimately, no task is ever really complete to the point that it is perfect, even if it is good enough in the moment. I am very good at getting good enough, but I don't celebrate those as wins, even if it is the best that could be done in the circumstances, because it isn't the best I could do.
But I also know that technically, we are always doing and producing the best we can do in the moment, because that is what we were able to do. There is no option otherwise. It is a bit like when people talk about "living in the now" as if there is somewhere else to live.
There is only now.
However, as I have said before, the real benefit of relationships is facilitating growth, and this pretty much should be the understanding of all relationships. The only way my wife can help me, is to help me improve, and while it might not be comfortable at times for me, I should a the very least reflect on what she says. And, she should reflect on what I say also - even though I am often missing the strategy and eloquence required to make it appealing.
A healthy relationship looks out for each other.
Not to pick on each other and pull up every mistake, but to be a second set of eyes that are able to see situations from different perspectives, and help the other process situations that they might be blind to. If my fly is down, or I have something in my teeth, I want someone to tell me. And when it comes to a marriage, when my proverbial fly is down, it is a risk for everyone.
That is poorly worded.
But what I mean is that we are in this relationship together, and her outcomes affect me, and my outcomes affect her, and our combined outcomes affect our life together with our daughter. If we can help each other identify and shore up weaknesses, as well as identify and highlight strengths, we are both better off for it as a couple, and as individuals.
And now, while still not perfect, my CV is far better than it was a couple hours ago and who knows, maybe it is the thing that makes the difference in getting a foot in the door, or being rejected at the mailbox. I am better face to face than I am in CV, but with the sheer volume that the recruiters are getting now, they reject very fast, otherwise they will never get to the next stage at all.
The "What's next?"
I should buy my wife flowers.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Be part of the Hive discussion.
- Comment on the topics of the article, and add your perspectives and experiences.
- Read and discuss with others who comment and build your personal network
- Engage well with me and others and put in effort
And you may be rewarded.
Great reminder that growth often comes through honest feedback especially from those who know us best, Love how this turns a simple CV edit into a deeper lesson on partnership and progress.
I believe that the most important thing in life, is our relationships. They are our whole story.
I haven't had to update my resume in a long time, but I remember how difficult it was. It's a quite fine line between making it concise and to the point, but also making it catch attention and worth reading. I also think it's hard to find that creative something that doesn't promise something you can't deliver. It's good you have your wife to help. I often have to proof read my wife's professional reports for her.
Yes. You. Should. Buy her flowers, or something equally nice. You are fortunate to have a skilled recruiter to look you over before presenting to prospective employers. That first impression is usually all you get these days.
You and your wife make a great team and that's just the best all around for Smallsteps. She has good examples to look up to and learn from.
I loved how you turned something as simple as updating a resume into a moment of reflection on relationships, growth, and self-awareness.
Having a life partner who can see the parts of us we often miss is a real treasure not just to correct us, but to gently push us forward.
Relationships are catalysts for improvement. Learning is always sharpen and expanded by external perspectives.
perfection vis-a-v-s acceptance? Human ambition and journey are always well placed on "what's next" but not on the "Moment's best effort".
While life is not static and constantly finds meaning in motion, we can not undermine the past because most of our lessons come from past experiences However I would always give more weightage to NOW. Because NOW is the pivot between past and present. The forward momentum of the future is underpinned by past's expereince, and mindful moments of NOW.
Flowers might be a good start :-) I remember when @socraticmthd wrote up my resume. He does it for a profession, usually tech resumes, but did mine as a favor. A huge favor, I must say. I was tired of the bakery and all that came with it, and wanted to see if I was able to get something at one of the many NGOs here, from Germany, in order to get paid in Germany. The thing was - I hadn't really done anything. Besides creating and running the bakery, and buying and upgrading a restaurant. And quite a lot of social work.
He made me realize just how much that all was. Just putting it into the right words. "Just running a bakery" is correctly: Product creation, supply chain management, quality control, scheduling, ordering, production, developing and implementing social media strategies, creating B2B partnerships, team-building and leading, budgeting, acquisitions, direct client service, feedback loops,... and probably more.
I did not get the job I thought I wanted. But I did get a ton of self-esteem, of knowing how much I was worth. One of the many kind acts I won't forget.
Thank you so much! You certainly had - and have - done a great deal; significantly more than when I wrote that resume these days. It can be difficult to recognize how much we've accomplished; as you know, while I'm fairly skilled in showing what my clients have accomplished, I'm perhaps less clear in what I've done myself. It's could to an second set of eyes, as they say.
I'd say "fairly skilled" is an understatement, proving your second point 😅
Interpersonal relationships, especially those between couples, only exist to the extent that they are truly relationships, even though it may seem redundant to say so. We often think that just because we are next to each other, eating together, etc., we are already “related,” but that is not entirely true.
Then, I believe that we can never be resolved in our lives; it is a permanent process, and although it is often tiring, we have no other choice if we want to truly live.
Greetings, and thank you for your reflections, @tarazkp.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
Your wife is great. My wife also has the best experience in writing various applications. It's good that I have never had to write a resume, I have absolutely no idea what to write there :)
I'm hearing you, though in my case it was always in interviews where I failed miserably (I guess I must have been half decent at CV writing once as I always got to interview stage, sometimes even got to second interview, never landed a job though, and after the third or fourth time I realised it was because I don't interview well but I never did get around to fixing it).
I haven't needed to fix it or do a CV for a good long while now
Thanks I nearly asphyxiated on a chip fragment.
I think eldest is feeling your pain though, he's also struggling with finding more work at the moment.
Your spouse's employment provides advantages to both of you in many ways. It will play an active role in the mutual growth of your relationship.
Your wife is an absolute gem. Having someone with recruiting experience review your CV is like having a cheat code. The red pen corrections are going to pay off big time. Lucky you man
It’s nice that you recognize the importance of celebrating achievements, no matter how small they seem. I also know how to be happy from the small things happen in my life.
This is so wholesome. My partner and I do the same thing , we're constantly helping each other improve whether it's resumes, interview prep or just life stuff. When you're a team, everyone wins. Good luck with the job hunt
yes, we often benefit from teamwork. (although I think I make more descisions solely based on my on thoughts..) 😎🤙💰
It is good to have a life partner who helps you help themselves since you are in the same boat. It does not always happen that way. My first wife was talented in many things like languages, etc. But she was not a good partner we could not collaborate on anything no matter how hard I tried. I feel that things that I have achieved during that marriage was despite her and not because of her helping with anything.
With my second wife I am way more lucky. Our collaboration was very successful in selling two houses in a very short time-frame and at a great price point and market timing. Those were initially my properties, but she helped ALOT, was critical to the success of both sales. She also was critical in my recent promotion from Software Engineer Principal to the Solutions Architect, without her coaching it would have been impossible. And that promotion came with a nice increase which we are both enjoying.
Her new business is executive coaching, but more like helping people to get to the next level in their career so she was phenomenal when helping me overcome the obstacles to that promotion. She knows nothing about technology or architecture, but that didn't stop her and it was crucial for me to recognize that despite all my expertise in those fields I sorely needed her help to present my case to the decision makers.
Now I just need to figure out how to better collaborate with her in crypto investing :)
It is not a healthy way to live in a romantic relationship, is it?
And the both enjoying is important. Money doesn't bring me much joy, but being able to buy things for my family does. Sharing the good times, also makes sharing the difficult times easier. Some people are only "fair-weather friends"
As I am in a similar field to your wife, I wish more engineers would realise this :)
Good luck! She already knows that crypto is a scam. ;D
LOL, well she at a bit better position than crypto is a scam. She just thinks SPS and Hive are dead and that I should be focusing on other newer crypto coins that are on Coinbase or on BTC / ETH.