Do, or Not to Do
To be, or not to be, that is the question.
- Shakespeare
It is such a binary choice, isn't it? Do I continue on suffering the pains of life, or do I look to end them through death. It seems so simple. But unfortunately, life is a little more complicated, because we make it more complicated. We decide that our feelings are more important than our actions in the hierarchy, so base our actions off how we feel. So when we don't feel good, we react, or we do nothing.
People settle for a level of despair they can tolerate and call it happiness.
- Søren Kierkegaard
Yes, this is the same quote I used in the last article about swimming with my family. Because the thing is, that the majority of us are settling with what is largely a life that is degrading. The world is crumbling apart, we are getting ill, we are having mental issues, we are lonely and struggling to make ends meet and rather than trying to make things better, the majority of us are settling for less.
What people don't realise that the person who is trying to maximise their material wealth, is the same as the person trying to minimise it. At least at the individual level, they are identical - just different ends of the same function.
Plus three or minus three, they are both an expression of three.
Making do with less is not a noble cause, nor is trying to get more. It is just a choice. But, what is interesting to me is that rather than working out what we need to do and doing it, we spend our time trying to have the right feelings to get things done.
For instance, tonight I was talking with a friend who is just too busy to make it to the gym, yet . But, this is a feeling, not the reality. She feels like watching television, so she does. She doesn't feel like going to the gym, so she doesn't. The hour spent is the same. The reality is, *she does have the time. What she doesn't have,
Is the will.
Will
/wɪl/
noun
The faculty by which a person decides on and initiates action.
Action. That is what we are really talking about here, isn't it? Though, perhaps you might be lost in the ramblings of my mind to realise it at this point. However, maybe in the coming passages I will clear it up. Or not. My point is, while Hamlet contemplated whether it is better to live or die, given the suffering of life, what he should have been considering is whether he should do, or not do.
That is the question.
Think about it in regard to my friend above, who would like the results of going to the gym, but doesn't want to. Every time she has the potential opportunity, she is asking herself "To do, or not to do?" and then choosing based on her feeling. Which in the case of going to the gym, is a not to do, as she chooses to do something else instead.
Are these choices moving us toward our goals though?
Obviously not. But in the moment, what we are doing is favouring our emotional opinion over our chosen goals. We are saying that how I feel now, overrides what I want to accomplish in life. And the more often we do this, not only the less we accomplish, but the less capable we are to override the emotions we have. We hold ourselves back,
Because we don't feel like it.
But we don't question our feelings, do we? We treat them as if they are something tangible, when all they are in our reality is an opinion based on whatever is going on at the time, driven by a host of past relationships and opinions that have twisted our perspective to be what it is, and feel like our perspective, is the truth. But our truth, is looking to make our life - easy.
Easy (adj.)
c. 1200, "at ease, having ease, free from bodily discomfort and anxiety," from Old French aisie "comfortable, at ease, rich, well-off" (Modern French aisé), past participle of aisier "to put at ease," from aise (see ease (n.)). Sense of "not difficult, requiring no great labor or effort" is from late 13c.; of conditions, "offering comfort, pleasant," early 14c
The easy path is the one that puts emotions above actions, because that is what we feel is the right thing to do in the moment. But in reality, what it is going to lead to is being incapable of accomplishing whatever our real goals are. Which means, if we want to grow, we are going to have to live in DIS-Ease.
We have to be uncomfortable, physically and mentally, depending on what we are looking to accomplish. But don't get me wrong here, the goal isn't to actually accomplish at all - it is about the journey. But while journey sounds like a travelling process, what it actually is is a series of decisions and actions made in the now, in each moment. Because now is all we have.
To do, or not to do.
In each moment we are tasked with deciding what our next course of action is. But if we are leaving the decision up to how we feel, we aren't actually making a decision at all. We are a passenger, reacting to the shift of the vehicle that carries us. Swaying side to side, without control over where we are headed. It is easier to not drive.
It is easier to settle.
Each moment we have an array of decisions we could make, and then there are the actions we do make. And what we do is going to shape the next array of choices. And if we keep choosing the easy path, eventually the only choices left, are the ones that are taking away from who we are, making us smaller. Rather than growing ourselves, we are reducing who we are, and who we could be.
You might be on your high-horse talking about how you don't chase material this or that, but I can't guarantee that you are chasing something. Be honest with yourself, and explore what your goals are. And then, if you are happy with that goal - make it happen.
Every decision you make from then on will be in service to your goals. And while there are trade-offs as there are only so much resources and time available, we can still make decisions that further our growth, even if imperfectly. We can't have everything, but we can work toward it.
Saving will never make you wealthy.
Yet, it seems that a lot of people are saving their energy, saving their time, saving the best of themselves, until their conditions improve. Until their feelings improve. Perhaps tomorrow. Maybe the day after. Now is not the right time.
So when is?
What I think people fail to realise is that they are already being something. Being is simple - eight billion of us are being. The question really is, what are we doing? Because what we do becomes who we be.
And what many be, is a load of excuses.
Taraz
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Are we chasing things though? Or are we just running away from the cascading events of the past, down the only path that remains, a result of our prior choices?
Which was the first choice that set you upon the path to having these thoughts and writing these words. So many people are "victims" of their circumstance, through which, as a result of their prior choices, (perhaps ones they couldn't even control) - find themselves with less and less agency as time drags on.
The concept of even being able to choose is a gift, a gift given by every circumstance you've encountered.
Maybe, I too, am rambling in response to your rambling, but that's the most cathartic part of interacting with another sentient being.
Running away is a negative chase, just with even less control. Go where the hungry lion isn't.
I think that the less we choose, the less chance to choose we have, mostly by self-conditioning. However, while the past dictates the present, it needn't dictate the future. We can make different choices. Be different, by doing different.
Rambling might be the greatest form of self-expression. Or the lowest. I am not sure.
rework
Are we just running toward a certain future, a result of the cascading events of the past. The path we follow, determined by the pavement before us, installed by past hands unseen?
This is actually helping me ideate more for that fictional story I want to write around the concept of free will, choice, and agency. Thanks.
Choice is terrifying, paralysing to some people. Different choice suggests that that there's an expected outcome, and that there can be an unexpected outcome, as someone manipulates their environment in a way that would not be typical. For instance: opening the milk at the supermarket and pouring it over the apples.
It suggests, but it it doesn't have to be that way. A different choice might carry no expectation with it - though that would not be the normal human behaviour. Humans tend to automatically predict potential outcomes, but favour some over others, depending on those opinionated feelings.
So, are we fated? I have thought a bit about this and technically, I think that we are fated, where everything happens in some kind of ricochet that is far too complicated for us to ever know or predict with accuracy. Yeah, there are some quantum mechanics things that are meant to be random, but are they truly random, or do we just not know their formula yet?
It is dangerous to say, until evidence suggests otherwise, but someone has done the mathematics on quantum chaos.
For a random quantum event to influence a single molecule, its twenty three orders of magnitude of random events that are required.
But hey, as you mention, we are not for sure certain if it is random. It just appears that way as we have further reductive analysis to complete as a species.
I also enjoy your use of the word ricochet in this conversation.
Yes. But even the smart mathmeticians are only giving the next step in the puzzle. There is always more to know. At some point, the smartest people didn't believe in germs.
We describe the life we know, but also assume much of the life we do not know.
Funny! When I wrote it I was thinking about the last time I have used it - and it has been a long time. One of the parts of living in a foreign (non-English speaking) country, is not using even simple vocabulary that often. I am losing richness, and I wasn't wealthy to begin with.
You're not losing richness. You are wealthy. You have a healthy mind and share your words and ideas freely. That's rich in my book.
I doubt the puzzle of the quantum realm will be solved in our life times, but until then, it provides much entertaining speculation.
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I said this to someone else the other day... The problem with settling is you usually don't realize you have done it until you view things in hindsight. Often many years after the settling has already taken place.
An then, more excuses are used to protect against the feelings of regret and guilt.
Yeah, for sure!
This is a thought-provoking content, I must say. It really made me pause and think about how often I let my feelings decide for me. Like you said, it’s not that we don’t have time, it’s that we don’t will ourselves to use it well. I love how you flipped the question from “to be or not to be” to “to do or not to do."”
As humans, it is easier to follow our emotions or prefer to do what is less stressful and demanding. Humans prefer to have too easy and attimes we don't like the effort in achieving the result by we love to have a desirable result. Not all can put in the work in achieving success, but we can envy those who put in their best when they achieve their goals. To achieve our goal in life, we have to deny ourselves some comfort as we all know that nothing good comes easy. If it's enjoyment you desires, you don't necessarily need to put in much task, but remember that the end might be disaster if care is not taken.
In the end, our actions shape who we are; not our intentions or emotions. I will end with this saying that actions speak louder than voice.
We all do "our best" in the moment, but the best in the next can be better. Just imagine if people took real stock of their lives, listed out their days and all the time used on frivolous activity, and then said "this is the best I am and can ever be".
Do you think they would believe it?
This is a wonderful writeup with a very clear message tho it took me time to finish reading but I have picked one thing or the other in the message,I have being away for years doing nothing on my hive
But coming back today it was a matter of determination and just has you have rightly said about to do or not to do
I have been battling with that situation for long and today I made a final conclusion on coming back strong on hive no matter how hard the situations maybe
I have decided to do this
What a lovely writeup @tarazkp
Relying on determination will only get you so far, and it will fail. Rather than determination, create habits that take you in the direction you want to move.
Very true friend I think I will have to include just that @tarazkp
The hour is not the same though. The hour in front of the TV is resting and recovering while the hour at the gym has a bunch of logistics, requires work to figure out an exercise plan, and then requires additional rest to recover from the extra effort.
Potentially your friend is happy with her choice to rest and recover from her day in front of the TV, but feels the need to feign gym-interest to you and society because of the peer pressure to accomplish everything, all the time, all at once. I'm sure she could actually make it to the gym if she actually chose to.
I'm all for championing rest and recovery in this truly overwhelming society we've created for ourselves.
The hour is identical. What is done and how we feel about that hour is different.
Rest and recovery is largely an opinion too. For instance, smokers say smoking relaxes them - is it true? No. What it does is suppresses a craving for a little while. What we choose to do matters, and how we feel about it matters less in some cases, given what is being done.
I suspect that too much TV is like smoking. It doesn't actually relax us, but makes us crave more relaxation. So we keep feeding it, upping our daily intake. How much downtime do people need? 10% 50% ?
I also suspect that the recovery from watching TV too much is harder than going to the gym to maintain health. Like many excuses, the hidden cost of using them is higher than the cost of doing what we said we couldn't.
Hmmm, I think you and I have very different viewpoints on rest and recovery.
I think it's likely that people aren't resting and recovering enough. I think it's quite possible that a lot of our physical and mental health issues stem from being stretched way too thin as the world around us constantly tries to convince us that we should be doing more, spending more, consuming more because it benefits so much from convincing us we aren't enough.
I legitimately don't know how much downtime people need, it might be down to the individual, I'm not even sure how to even go about working it out because there's no profit in anyone to research it and so much profit to try and sell us remedies when our physical and mental health start to break.
I don't personally think TV is like an addictive drug for the vast majority of the population. I'd say it's more likely that if someone is watching a dangerous amount of television there might be another issue like depression at play.
I think people are doing the wrong things for rest and recovery. I also think that people are far more sensitive to any fluctuations, which stress them and cause them anxiety in ways that didn't before. Everyone blames the changes in life, but I think it is more the changes in self. Lots of naval gazing, very little interaction with the real world.
It will be down to the individual, but that doesn't mean the individual is the best judge of how much they need. A depressed person can sleep 12 hours and still not want to get out of bed. Do they need more rest? Or is the way they are trying to recover not suitable for purpose?
I say TV, but it is all screens. And all distractions. Some people consume hundreds of books a year, while their life and relationships falls apart.
What would you say are better things to do for rest and recovery than screens? I totally agree that walking in nature really helps, but it's not always logistically easy.
Depression is a whole different situation, and I don't know enough to comment on it... but I imagine that a relatively healthy person is not getting nearly enough rest needed to cope with our overwhelming world. I think we all underestimate how important sleep is and how to get a really good night's sleep (something I'm totally struggling with).
Basically, I don't know your friend, I don't know anything about her, but I'm happy to give her the benefit of the doubt that her not getting to the gym is more likely for reasons of exhaustion than laziness.
Very true, we are only able to achieve if we push hard and push through discomfort and do things that are hard. Be it with our body and building it or with achieving things in life.
And for normal people it doesn't matter how financially successful you are, you are always a dollar short or a day late...
It doesn't even have to be that uncomfortable. Most of us aren't curing cancer in our jobs, nor competing at the highest fitness levels for our hobbies - so how come we can't be even slightly uncomfortable? How come we can't stay a bit hungry, but we can overeat until we feel ill? We can't do some exercise, but can get a bad neck from sitting in front of a screen?
The excuses go on.
The question you pose in your reflections is certainly a dilemma. I have my doubts (and will probably continue to have them until I die) about where the emphasis should lie, if indeed there should be any determination at all. Perhaps it is some what Hamletian. As the Spanish (or rather Basque) philosopher, novelist, and poet Miguel de Unamuno said, “we are sentimental animals,” and we cannot escape that. Of course, we are also action, not always driven by will. But is will our salvation (so to speak)? I have nothing but questions.
Best regards, @tarazkp. Thank you for your reflections.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
Life is action. The sentiment is what we feel about the movement. Or in this case, lack of movement perhaps :)
It's true that our lives are a bit complicated, but we make that complexity even more complicated along the way.
Constantly making excuses for why we can't do what we know we should.
It is extremely true that excuses are our main problem.
I am very lazy and do not like to go to the gym. But I also understand that all day in a chair in front of the TV will kill my health. Therefore, I choose the movement that will bring me joy. If I have money, I go to a restaurant through a large park, if I have no money, I go through a large park to another place. There are many beautiful places in the world.
Yeah. It doesn't have to be a gym at all. This person just happens to go to the same gym as me :) There are plenty of ways to stay in better shape, and feel better.
I think we get stuck in our comfort zones, thinking that this sense of ease is actually happiness, but it just leads to stagnation and lazyness.
Precisely. Yet we keep finding excuses.
Is the will.
Yes, I too am lacking the will. I think about all the things that I could be doing, but instead scroll through more Instagram stories and comment with friends in group chats. I justify it to myself by saying that I'm keeping up with my acquaintances and talking to my friends. But it is just distractions.
I really need to be figuring out how to start streaming from my PC to make content. I really need to set myself on a proper writing schedule to maximize readership and the value of my content (like who cares about my Splinterlands season report when I mostly do it nearly 2 weeks after the last season ended). I really need to get myself on a proper gym routine and nutrition program because no matter how little will I have in the moment, I ALWAYS feel better after I put in the work.
I think the comfort of my teaching job has left me so comfortable that I have let go of my goals and I'm just floating by. It is exactly what you say, while things aren't getting harder, they are shrinking in value. I see less friends face-to-face. I eat less quality food. I don't feel as athletic as I used to. I don't get the same buzz from creating content and entertaining.
The worst part is I feel mostly powerless to change. I sued to write 2-3 music articles a week when we were first growing our EDM publication Moon Lvnding. But now that I've been doing it for 5 years and we have a much bigger staff below me, I'm lucky to write 3 articles a month. I've had to event reviews just sitting on my "digital" assignment desk for over a month without touching them.
I definitely need a hard reset! Maybe it is time to eat a fistful of mushrooms and get my life back in order. Also, Fuck Fascism!
What breaks the chain for you?
In that second paragraph, there are lots of "needs" - that means it is all future based, right? Why not change your process and stop needing and instead be able to, "I am now working out how to stream..." and then have some integrity and make sure it is true, so you don't have to lie to people :D
The more we consume, the less we create. I believe that while some consumption helps the mind move, too much degrades and makes it numb. We are constantly caught in a stream of useless information. I switch out as much as I can. I don't even listen to the radio in the car, because of adverts. I live as advert-free as possible.
From what you are saying, it sounds that while it is easier not to create, it is far less satisfying for you. We each have decisions to make on the lives we live and maybe it is time to become serious about what kind of person you are, and what actions that kind of person makes.
But what do I know!
I wish I had done this earlier in life. I am still yet to experiment with hallucinogens.
Its been proven in a few studies that overexposure to social media is causing so many small bursts of dopamine that shrinks the grey matter in the brain and makes it harder to complete more complex or attention-specific tasks. I definitely feel it in my own life. It is a shame.
A deep and honest reminder that most failures aren’t caused by circumstances, but by choosing comfort over action and feelings over will.
Circumstances are what they are - many we have no say in. What we do have some say in, is what we choose to do with what we have available.
True strength lies in how we respond to what we can't control our choices define us more than our circumstances ever could.
Interesting post and comments. The choice is ours what we do with our time. Are we pushing too hard as a society and we sped up beyond the normal limits of a human being? Maybe. Are we using this and procrastination as an excuse to not do productive work? It happens, to some more than to others. So yeah, it is a matter of choice, but it is also a matter of peer and societal pressure, I suppose. Life has a different speed in different parts of the world and cultures. It's interesting that the ones that take it slower (in modern terms, but not necessarily as daily activity) tend to live longer and be happier...
Probably. So if we are influenced so heavily by our conditions, we should make sure we are with people who help us grow, not hold us back. We know that a CEO surrounded by Yes-men will fail soon enough - why would we want the same for ourselves in our personal lives - the life where we say we want to improve the quality?
Yes, being surrounded by the right people, especially in key-moments in life, is important, maybe even crucial.
Yup, all the excuses. I have a hack for when I just feel lazy.. i tell myself just do 1 minute of whatever the activity.. like working out.. then i can stop if I want, but I usually just finish it.
This is a good hack. There is a book called "atomic Habits" that suggests doing similar to get into the habit of a new activity.
I'm randomly reminded of the Footrot Flats movie that I saw where Wal decides on some fitness program that he's "GOING TO START RIGHT AWAY!" then promptly takes an injury and limps offscreen appending "...starting tomorrow."
I'm always happy to listen to people complaining if they need to get something out of their system. Sometimes I can even help or advise if they need/want it.
I no longer have the friends who used to whinge about how nobody ever helps or advises them on how to fix the problems that they're having but whenever I did then try to offer advice/help they would immediately whinge about how everyone always tries to jump in and fix the problems instead of just listening
The ones that aren't allowed to complain anymore (or at least not without getting a snarky response) are the chronic complainers who refuse to take any steps to fix whatever it is they're complaining about.
some leeway for when they're trying and failing or it's taking an obscenely long time or in some monumentally stupid workplaces where they're literally being forced to put up with it or quit and they're basically stuck there til they find another job which apparently is still not the easiest thing to be doing right now
In some fairness to a lot of people "feeling like" something at the time is a massive productivity boost (I very rarely "feel like" cleaning the house but when I do get into that mood which is usually probably unhealthily driven by rage and nothing positive I get so much more done than when I'm just having to do it because it's on the schedule and the schedule is how I get the things that I never, ever want to do at all done) so they (incorrectly) "feel like" there's no point if they don't "feel like" it (I used to do this once upon a time).
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