The Paradox of Comparison

Doesn't it seem a bit ironic that we dislike it when people compare us with others yet we inherently compare ourselves with others just to measure how far we have progressed or could progress??

I mean, it's interesting to see how our own comparisons can often stem from societal pressures and unrealistic expectations, which sometimes makes us feel like we're constantly falling short of an intangible ideal.

Of course, when we also compare ourselves to those that we are far ahead of, we tend to get satisfied, comfortable, relaxed, yet this satisfaction breeds stagnation.

We become fixated on maintaining our lead within this limited group, neglecting the vast possibilities and growth that lie beyond.

It's no wonder, then, that we often find ourselves trapped in a cycle of comparison, either yearning to match or surpass the perceived successes of those around us.

But before we condemn comparison entirely, let's acknowledge its potential merits.

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The Comparison Trap

First and foremost, I think it's natural human tendency to compare. Through comparison, similarities and differences are revealed. Both of which can shed light on what needs to be improved or work on.

For instance, witnessing the achievements of others can spark inspiration, motivate us to strive to become better, and more importantly, illuminate possibilities we might not have considered.

For me, the latter is akin to a light bulb moment, the puzzle suddenly fits and I understand what to do next.

The crux lies not in the act of comparison itself, but in the how and the why. There are certain comparisons that lead to us demean ourselves, ignites envy or fuels self-doubt.

That's where the trap lies. As it becomes a toxic yardstick, measuring our worth against an unrealistic, often misleading image.

Perhaps, we can boil it down to how we compare, since why we compare is sort of irrelevant when it's natural human tendency to compare. How do we compare ourselves with a particular ideal? Is that ideal itself realistic enough?

Consider the futility of comparing apples to oranges. While they might fall under the same category of "fruit," their intrinsic qualities and value differ greatly.

Similarly, comparing our unfiltered selves to someone's curated online persona or our internal worth to external measures of success sets us up for failure right from the start.

These comparisons are like trying to fit square pegs into round holes – they simply don't align.

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Reframing the Narrative

Instead of asking "am I good enough?" we reframe to "what can I learn from this experience?" This shift in focus unlocks a treasure trove of inspiration.

Think of it like this: comparing my writing to a Pulitzer Prize winner will be demoralizing. But comparing myself to another aspiring writer, facing similar challenges and celebrating small wins?

I think that fosters camaraderie and fuels my own creative fire. Like finding an "apple to apple" comparison, one that offers relevant insights without diminishing our own unique flavor.

Of course, we're not an apple, orange, or any other fruit! A human being is a beautiful blend of experiences, strengths, and aspirations.

Perhaps, embracing what makes us special and defining success on our own terms is the best way to not fall into this trap. In other words, don't get caught up in the external validation game of comparison.


Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.

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