On Growth, Standards, and Human Change

There's something intriguing for me about observing people navigate their lives while carrying invisible blueprints of who they could become.

In this now interconnected world we live in, there are countless stories of transformation (and stagnation) of people wrestling with their own potential in ways both beautiful and heartbreaking.

This dynamic between what is and what could be has shaped my understanding of human nature in ways I'm still unpacking.

For example, I somehow have high standards for myself. Don't really know why other than it grew on me with more explorations I made about the human condition.

A seed contains the entire manifestation a tree will end up becoming but in packed form.

It's like a blueprint that houses all the genetic information, growth patterns, and eventual characteristics that will unfold over decades (or centuries).

In terms of size and magnitude, a seed is nothing compared to a fully grown tree that has lived for centuries like the General Sherman tree in California.

But this tree was once just a tiny seed no bigger than a tomato seed.

The human condition could be categorically understood with this biological metaphor, especially in terms of untapped potential and the vast gap between our current state and what we might become.

As much as we like to see ourselves as a speck of dust in this gigantic universe and wallow in feelings of insignificance concerning all that's happening around us externally, there's a crucial and perhaps non-obvious part that's mostly missing from our self-perception.

It's the recognition that we carry within us the same kind of concentrated potential that a seed holds.

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This Projection Game

Logically enough, I tend to project the high standards I have for myself to the people around me and this clearly rubs off on most of them the wrong way. Simply because there's a disconnect between what they're experiencing and what I think they could be experiencing.

Of course, the thinking and "could" are the problem here, if there's a problem here. I remember when I was much younger and some of these same people threw a lot of "could(s)" in my direction regarding things to say and do.

Oftentimes, we see part of ourselves in other people. Then, develop this belief that it's our job to steer their route into a different direction other than the one we took ourselves.

Regret is a heavy burden for those who feel they've wasted their own potential which leads them to become unofficial life coaches for everyone around them.

Subjective mistakes can be viewed as objective realities when we forget that our personal journey of growth doesn't automatically qualify us to prescribe paths for others.

The reality is that people only change when they decide to change. Nothing externally can force them to change. What this usually does is push them to the door of change, but opening the door and walking through it remains entirely their choice.

For others to grow according to our vision isn't our ultimate responsibility.

However, for ourselves to trust in the timing of each person's unfolding, seeds and all, is much more aligned with the natural order of things.

I don't want to change my standards just because others aren't ready to meet them.
Growth happens at its own pace either way.
And change is mostly an internal process, not an external imposition.


Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.