Dashboard Of Habits

Some days, I think optimization is just a fancy way of avoiding the deeper questions in life, especially with regards to what truly brings us fulfillment and meaning beyond efficiency metrics.

We get caught up in perfecting systems and routines without much questioning how the dashboard of perfectly tracked habits can become a distraction from asking what those habits are ultimately for.

Lately, I've been pondering a bit more on some of my daily routines, how sustainable they are on a longer time frame, barring any potential changes in the future.

I also do wonder whether I personally will want to continue doing some of them well into the uncertain future, are they moving the needle forward towards the vision I have for myself, etc.

Evidently, this requires some sort of brutal honesty about which practices are genuinely nourishing versus those I maintain out of a sense of obligation or identity attachment.

Fair-Weather Companions

I think some of my routines are not battletested even though I may have been doing them for well more than 90 days, which is the ballpark number to form a habit.

One of the reasons why I think so is because they haven't yet weathered significant disruptions or mental/emotional turbulence in my life.

I think true resilience of a habit comes from how it adapts, pauses, and returns during life's inevitable chaos and transitions, as if it's an entity that transforms within the process of one's own transformation.

Some of my current supposedly solid routines could well just be fair-weather companions.

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For example, meditating everyday at almost the same time with the same duration is something that I don't feel like doing 80% of the few moments before mediating.

But I do it anyway, not necessarily because I want to achieve these "documented benefits of meditation."

There's something beyond the research-backed outcomes that keeps me returning to the cushion, more like a subtle knowing that this practice is silently working beneath the surface of my conscious awareness.

Given that it's a daily practice, there's a constant risk of falling into mechanical repetition without presence, although on some days the practice genuinely creates space for insights that wouldn't have surfaced otherwise.

Genuinely Interested

Taking an hour walk around the neighbourhood on the other hand is much more sustainable and I would want to keep doing it well into the future. One of the things that I appreciate about this experience is the natural variety. Different weather, changing seasons, unexpected encounters, etc.

For me, the inherent unpredictability is what keeps it engaging and the fundamental structure(just walking) remains simple enough to maintain without expending too much willpower on my part.

Now, the optimization aspect seems to favor routines that have inherent variability within structure.

I've well given on finding the perfect routine, and will rather create practices with enough flexibility to evolve with and still provide the benefits of consistency.

What I'm also beginning to realize is that sustainability in habits might have less to do with discipline and more to do with whether they genuinely serve something deeper.

There's wisdom in how we naturally gravitate toward certain activities while subtly resisting others, even when we override those resistances through sheer force of will.


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