From Old Closet
The process
Creating new worlds, creating new realities, allows me to get away from the face of the earth for at least a short while. It does not matter whether it is painting, singing or writing. Every moment spent away from the grey reality allows us to reset, to separate our minds from our weary bodies.
For me, drawing or painting is a form of meditation. It is practically the only time when my head is not buzzing, when it is not weighing down on my shoulders. Thoughts - if they appear - flow along a single path, meandering slowly, freely.
I watch every pebble along the way, touch the grass by the side of the road with my hand, admire the beauty of the trees growing up beside me. I watch the trotting beetles and lazy snails. I stop to look up at the sky and enjoy the immeasurable, boundless blue.
Although I am very rarely satisfied with the end result - remembering the process and picking up the crumbs of what I learned during the process makes me smile for a moment.
Sylwia
The works I am showing you today were painted/drawn in secondary school - art school. These are two works that were painted with the diploma in mind(as supporting works for the main diploma), but I rejected them because I wasn't entirely happy with them.
Funnily enough, the original diploma works have been placed in the school archives(I'm guessing they are long discarded) and the diploma photos(documentation) were lost on my burnt hard drive many years ago unfortunately. So I am left with the 'rejects' :D
I must admit that I find it difficult to look at these paintings. Not only because I would paint better now, but because they force my brain to travel to the past. And the sentiments bore and irritate me.
Nevertheless, there is quite an interesting story behind these particular works:)
The girl in the painting, Sylwia, lived next door to me in the boarding school. Very tall, red-haired, husky-like eyed, dressing like proper punk rock fan.. Very mischievous, unreformed fan of poetry and heavy music. I loved her more I can express. She was 3 years younger than me, but sometimes she behaved like a child, so I used to reprimand and scold her sometimes. So she started calling me 'Mum'.
It was my fourth and final year of secondary school. I was working intensively after hours on the drawing annex for my diploma(I had in mind Professor Aniszewski's words, if you want to read about him, see here so that I could get it out of the way and focus completely on my graduation.
I was in the middle of the 2nd portrait when the model who posed for us at school became seriously ill. When she had been out for 2 weeks - I decided to look for a model on my own. However, it turns out that very few people want to take off their clothes for little money :D Desperate - I started working on still lifes, which I hated, and I still do :D
I was sitting in my studio after hours, and then I hear loud footsteps on the stairs.
-Mom!!! - Sylvia called out.
-Here I am! First door on the left! - I shouted.
Sylwia rushed into the studio in a thin summer dress and army boots . Significantly - only the army boots were in place. I had never seen Sylwia in a dress, and what's important - I had never seen her in an outfit that was any other colour than black.
-I heard you needed a model!
She ran into the cavalet(a revolving table used for scultures or placing models on it) and started unzipping her dress.
-Crazy? What are you doing?
-You wanted to draw nudes, I remember!
-Why the hell are you wearing that dress then?
-I was looking for an excuse to wear it. - she shyly replied.
Rejected
I started with sketches of the figure, the so-called 'modello' - a small sketch of the figure, usually on A5/A4 format – just to establish proportions, and decide what pose I wanted to use on the final work.
I decided to use a dress. It couldn't go to waste after all! That evening I sketched the first work. And thanks to the fact that I turned it down - you can see it today (the one with the pink dress).
Sylwia posed for me not only in the studio, but also in the boarding house - I did a lot of sketches, portraits, fast sketches. I was looking for interesting poses. In total, I did 12 paintings, 13 if I could count the one I abandoned halfway through working on them.
The work on the red background - originally it was part of an appendix - but my professor and I rejected it 15 minutes before the thesis defence :D
Instead of 5 paintings - I showed the 3 best ones. I am grateful to him for helping me with this.
I called the series 'Squeezed'(or 'Pulled down' – it is truly hard to translate it to english), the idea was born with the 4th painting(the one with the red background). It was a projection of one of my irrational fears - claustrophobia. Each subsequent work pressed Sylvia into tighter and tighter frames. Anxiety was not the only leading thought here. Loneliness, lack of choice, sterotyping.
Ideas flowed as I painted and drew. Each figure is white, without a trace of paint - I wanted to show how fears take away our joy of existence, how they take away our colours.
I hope you don't judge me too harshly - I was about 17 years old when I made these paintings:) I have a few more works from my high school days, which I will share with you soon:)
As always,
Yours,
Strega Azure
hardboard with white acrylic base( dimensions: 100 x 70 cm).
I used 2B pencil, oil paints.
Congratulations @strega.azure! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 8000 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Check out our last posts:
https://leofinance.io/threads/strega.azure/re-leothreads-amujjhpe
The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the people ( strega.azure ) sharing the post on LeoThreads,LikeTu,dBuzz.
I don't really know much about painting art, but it's as though I can see your emotions in the drawings.
Thank you very much. And I agree, in this painting I incorporated plenty of emotions.
And what is important - it reminds me my dear Friend:)
The emotion is in the texture. With a keen eye, you can almost "tell" how the person was "feeling" when they created a work. You can distinguish a sharp, harsh brush stroke to be associated with an angry thought or momentary distraction, and the flowing stuff as the person being in either chaos or peace, which to some artists, are the very same thing :)
Ummm... Although I don't have the right words for it, but guess you took the words outta my mouth
I didn't take them, I simply helped them out. You can have them back :D
😂😂😂
Hey! Maybe little discretion here? Stop poking around in my head or I'll get back at you!
I thought it was more like a church where I can roam in, sit down, and just sit a while.
You can do whatever you want, that's the beauty of it.
What is interesting though - I can make the floor slippery and create the columns supporting the roof very fragile. Very fragile.
I'm happy to pull the pillars down. The roof hid the sky. :D
It is an nice roof though:)
Sometimes things are nice in rubble. :D
I love ruins and vacant buildings. When we plan day off - it has to be either some nature(forest or lake, water) or(!) an old building swallowed up by nature:)
There's a beautiful building like that not so far from my house. I've used it as a photo studio so many times. :)
I envy then, we have to do good few miles to reach some interesting one:)
You are getting better with each sketch you make. Your drawings always wow me and your emotions can be felt whenever I see your work.
#dreemerforlife babe😍.
I am glad that you can see progress:) It is what is most important thing for me, really!
Thank you very much!
Hehe, yes I saw it and loved it. Well done.
Your sketches always impress me very much. Drawing, painting and sketching is very difficult for me and it needs a lot of patience, efforts, dedication and love. So it's not easy one specially for me .
Good, less competition the better 😜 🤣🤣🤣
But on serious note - your writing is great, and I am always checking out your articles, especially 'hive-learners' bits I very much like!
Thank you for stepping by!
It's my pleasure to know your like my article. It inspire me very much.
It's not good 🤣. Who knows If I become a world famous artists If I started practice from my childhood. ( Keep imagining 🤣)..
Pleasure is all mine!
Who knows exactly! You have material for next story, I would say!
Not now but someday I will surely write about it🤣🤣. I will mention you if I write about it🤣😁.
😎100%!
Tag me, please:)
I will judge you for this - Strega, you are a genuine artist!
It's fascinating to get to know the story behind a piece, all the emotions and thoughts that built it, the relationship that sparked it. Thanks for sharing your story and your work!
By the way, you mentioned singing, are you also a singer?? 🫢
Thank you @emanate-artworx, truly!
It is not easy to dig up the past for me, but sometimes not-that-great artworks have actual meaning because of the story behind it:)
I sing in the shower obviously, and sometimes when I know I am all by myself. I know for a fact - I am terrible, because every time I try to sing - my cat bites my chin :D
Best critic ever :D
Lolol 🤣🤣 that's too funny!
Yes, personal memories can be the worst kind of ghosts, I get what you're saying. I don't inject any deep or painful emotions into my art works 😅, only simple aesthetic.
Thank you again for sharing this bit of your past. (It takes some courage to put yourself out there.) Looking forward to what else you unearth 🧡.
No. It is painful!!!!
Yep. Apart from my series 'Dune' and 'Sleeping Kingdom' that's what I am doing, Keeping things nice and neat:) However, from time to time, emotions must find an outlet. Better to give yourself space for that every now and then. it's healthy I would say:)
Yeah, it is not easy task for me, not gonna lie. Sharing is a difficult task. And this applies to all aspects of life - from a favourite meal to intimate confidences.
I find it very difficult to name and specify my emotions. To do the drawing - it is much easier :)
Web3, and more specifically, Hive, is a good outlet for all kinds of thoughts. Agreed, it is healthy to purge that stuff in our own ways 😌. Or else the residue becomes toxic!
Yeah, making the drawing is the easiest part. The divulging part, 🙄. Much easier to keep it surface level 😎, even if it's not as interesting sometimes.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, see you around!
This is the way:)
Likewise! See you:)
Your creativity always wows me and I enjoy reading your post always, thank you for sharing them.
Thank you very much, really appreciate!
This was a great trip down memory lane. Holding a single trait of thought for a long time during the creative process is a great feeling. I wonder why we can't bring it into other parts of life.
The drawings look really good to me :)
Becouse is genuine difficult. I find it hard to focus on one thing. Now I always try to have few projects open and I would just jump form one to another - not only to keep myself busy, but to simply not get bored:)
Thank you very much!
The one time you'll get a single emoji from me: 🤢
I cannot multi task or work on concurrent projects at once. I tend to do "milestones" for each thing I work on, and work on only that until that milestone is done, then if I'm feeling good, I'll keep going on that project or task until it is done.
Unless I get bored, abandon it, and then literally roll a dice on what to do next.
I am not really found of emojis either :D
Multitasking is one of the dumbest terms in corporate newspeak. I hate that term.
It is one thing to work on projects in rotation so as not to get bored with them, especially if they are of a completely different nature (1-drawing, 2 -leatherwork 2-writing emails, 3-designing in Illustrator, etc) and quite another to work with 3 different clients and do a little bit for each of them every day so that everything 'moves forward simultaneously'.
Nonsense.
Maybe everything is moving, but it is moving in the sluggish way possible :D
When I was still working from an office and had direct contact with clients - I had to work this way - it was mentally draining. 20 unfinished projects hanging over my head.... Disaster.
Definitely! I think that's a great way to keep the flow going and not come to a standstill for boredom to enter. Sometimes, I find focusing on two to three things and switching between them as the way to get work done in the least amount of time.
You're most welcome :)
Same here. I am not saying, that being the most efficient is the way to live, but better have your job out of the way as soon as possible, so you can focus on important things:)
It's interesting how our job is not considered as amongst the important things :)
I try eating the frog first(most difficult and often boring task) on most days!
It's depends on the job, surely.
When your hobby become your job - it is either the best or the worst thing that can happen to you. I wish the first option for you of course!
Same. When I tackle the worst parts - then my mind and body relax, and everything just flows:)
Well, I hope to go through the worst thing first before transitioning into the best thing.
I think working(on the outside) but also not working(on the inside) is a wonderful experience to have in regards to one's occupation or career.
And that's that:)
I love these wishy-washy textures that replace otherwise boring blocks of colour. It could be pop art without that texture and chaos in the big blocks of hue. I'm the type of person that looks at these "artefacts" of creation a lot more than I often look at the "work" itself, and that is a fascinating part of the process of digesting and devouring art.
So this aspect of oil painting is what I love it the most:) No other paint will give you this. You can put layers and layers diluted paint, and create a depth of colour that no other medium can match. I actually miss that. I recently bought oil sticks(it is just compressed oil paint) and I really want get into it. But only few colours, we will see what happens:)
I like playing with pictures this way, but because it is my old painting, and the one I 'rejected' as well I just cannot bare look at it more than it is necessary to put article together :D
I just want to do new, better stuff:)
I very much like this expression.
When I was at art school we went to an exhibition of Beksinski's work, it was very shortly after his tragic death. There were dozens of paintings there. (I don't know how much you know about him, but the guy was not only tireless - but very fast painter, he could finish a painting within a day).
I looked at each painting for long minutes. They were exhibited in several exhibition rooms, and when I reached the final phase of his work (the last room contained mainly paintings of crosses) - I vomited. Literally. Fortunately, I managed to make it to the trash bin, but I felt so emotionally and spiritually gutted that my body simply gave up.
Then, instead of just walking out I sat on a bench in a hall where most of the work illustrations of his dreams, like this one.
I looked and looked. I couldn't feast my eyes or my senses. I didn't want to leave.
In one episode of the series 'Hannibal', one of the characters 'Red Dragon'(a murderer who believes he is transforming into the 'Great Red Dragon') eats Blake's beautiful painting 'Great Red Dragon'.
He actually devours it to make the ultimate transformation complete.
Not that I identify with him... but I appreciate the devotion:)
You know, looking at this images made me feel uneasy in the stomach. I'd not seen the work before; but they tend to have an otherworldly feeling about them. They don't seem to grounded in the typical rules of physical reality. Feels like what we'd get if Dali had a better grasp on the physics that govern how things are constituted.
Surrealism, but without the "picture book" quality. Thanks for sharing, I'm gonna struggle to finish my Almond Milk chocolate protein powder breakfast now :D
Yeah, they are strong. But to be fair - that was their purpose. Beksinski he began to paint to get rid of the nightmares that tormented him, both in his dreams and when he was awake. That was his self-medicine. Let it all out. That's why he was working so fast, he had entire scene in his head already.
Yeah, I would say that Dali cared little to none of physics:) My favourite works of his are suspended in a void.
So sorry about that. Next time I'll put up a warning notice:)
I got through it okay :D It's only a warning notice if you truly "understand" the work.