Don't be the person you hate.
Right from a tender age, I've experienced heartbreaks. The toughest one I experienced as a teenager happened when I was in high school when my supposed best friend spread a rumor that I was a witch. Why? She was envious of the attention I got from all staff members, and mates. Sometimes, even in the hostel, I don't know how, I was kinda the first girl to be noticed by newcomers. No thanks to our housemaster who was so proud of me that he wouldn't stop talking about me to anyone that planned to approach me with a deadly intention.
All these I was getting not because I was playful. I never was. I was this reserved, average-height, brown-skinned girl that only focused on getting good grades while thinking of the lots going on in her home. It wasn't a mentally rosy period for me, but my supposed best friend found a way to make me feel like I was too proud. What happened due to her rumour? I gained enemies, and frenemies. Except for the sane ones who knew it was all a plot to attract people to her and frustrate me to loneliness and emptiness, about 90% of the girls in the hostel were so against me. It was then I knew that the pedestal I had placed all of them was entirely different from what or who I was to them.
Was I mad? Nope, but I was heartbroken. I cried so much that people could be like that, it was so disheartening. But one thing this experience never did to me was to break me and turn me to a monster. She came back to beg to be friends again. I accepted, but kept her at an arms length.
I had another experience in the university when the people I thought highly of jubilated at my downfall. I was gifted three carryovers in my result, and all they could say was, "she thinks she was special to have gotten a high grade. Now, she's back at the bottom. Let's see how she would rise again". I was a direct entry student that was just trying to navigate my way around the university, so, why the hatred? I asked no one in particular. However, I wasn't heartbroken. Rather, I focused on getting my results issues resolved and moved on like nothing happened while praying against further challenges.
Recently, I've shared how my mental health have been badly affected by my supposedly "good neighbours". But one thing that I've been consistent with despite all the heartbreaks, frustrations, and hatred I got, I have never thought of paying them back in their coin. Not because I'm a perfect human, but because my personality is far from the one that would gift hate, envy and jealousy. My values are far different from all these. So, I'll distant myself like I always do.
Except in situations where my life is risk, what I do to the hurt I've gotten from people is to keep my distance. Of course as humans, you'll be frustrated to a level that you would want to retaliate, do an eye for an eye, and do to them exactly what they did to you, but that will only taint who you are. It'll give your personality a stain even though it's a retaliation. Best thing, avoid these people completely.
Avoid getting used because you are the "more mature person, or the good person". Rather, when you notice you can't accept what they're doing to you, avoid them completely. That way, your personality will continue to be what you've shaped it to be not what the bad people want it to be.
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Hello dear @storygoddess 🙋
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Thanks for these corrections. I'll include the #emotionsfeelings tag right away, and also take note nktof the other suggestions. Thank you very much once again.
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The feeling that comes with those who are meant to be around us suddenly turning to be against us is very painful. And one major cause of that twist is jealousy. Jealousy makes people do things that are not supposed to do. Just as you got through your secondary school days I believe you will keep getting through in all. Good luck dear
It seemed more like their intention wasn't clean to start with. But, that's not a problem. It's one of those things that shaped us.