Friends that found me

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A colleague from work mentioned that he noticed I’m not the type of person to be outgoing in the first meetup. It takes time for me engage with others. And honestly, he couldn’t have said it any better.

The art of making friends, is something that I struggle with a lot.
The closest friends I have now, it’s either they made the first move, or we find ourselves in the same environment, started talking after a while and just never stopped talking.
My “best friend” in senior high school said she tried to make friends with me In when I first arrived in the boarding house and I snubbed her. Then I suddenly started talking to her.
I didn’t think I did anything wrong cause I had just met you, and I couldn’t just talking to you like I’ve known you all my life.

But living together with other girls in the boarding house, it changed me a lot. I was literally making a conversation with almost everyone around. And that’s because I’ve known them long enough to talk to them.

In the university though, I thought I should make the first move in making friends. And the people I eventually got close to, we became very close and things happened. Now we are back to being strangers. Which gives me the impression that regardless of how picky I think I am, I’m still not making the right choices.

I know so many people. I talk to them based on certain things we have in common. But you can count the number of friends I have by your fingers. And that’s something I take pride in. I don’t know what I would be doing with plenty friends when the few I have makes me feel fulfilled.

I kept the word best friend in quotes when I first typed it. It’s because I don’t think I’m anyone’s best friend. One thing I’ve had to learn the hard way is that I may fall among the list of friends someone has, but I’m never that one friend. And when I made peace with that, things became a lot easier for me. I’m able to enjoy the moment with people and just leave it as it is.
I’ve noticed that making friends in person now is easier for me rather than online. Cause I can see you and have a great conversation with you and hardly reply your messages online. I feel that the vibe from talking in person just can’t match to doing it online.
But even still, I would have to see you around for quite some time to actually initiate conversations with you. And when I finally do, I realize ive been missing out.

This thing about not being sociable in the beginning got me into a little situation at work. Cause tell me why this man thinks I’m crushing on him😂😂. In my head, I’m like “Sir, have you met my baby??”😂. Anyway, that’s a story for another day.