Tales of the Urban Explorer: The Gay Man's House

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

This one has been a long time coming. Almost two years ago, @anidiotexplores and I approached 'The Gay Man's House', it being most definitely on the Tour Bus.

It’s been photographed a lot, and the poor bastards on ‘Facebook’ had to name it ‘The Gas Man’s House’ for fear of being banned. ‘Gay’ is an inappropriate word it seems on that social media site.

For the record, I don't give a fuck about ‘Rump Rangers’, as long as they keep their eyes to themselves when I am draining the lizard in the public men's.

There's one at my place of work and I do get uncomfortable when I see him sauntering up to the urinals when I'm in a helpless state of mid-piss.

...'Is he having a look?'...

George Michael used to and got arrested for it so I know they are used as 'pick-up' places. Maybe a Gay reader can tell me otherwise?

An Audi A3 used to don the driveway but got nicked quite quickly after the house made the scene. Rumour has it that 'The Gay Man' is in jail, but this could be bullshit information.

If and when he gets out, there isn't going to be much of a house left to return to. Now, it's probably emptied of assets and starting to crumble.

This unfortunately is the way of things in the Urban Exploring world.

It was @anidiotexplores second visit, so I was primed with the knowledge of access.

...‘through the hole and the back door is open.., and it was.

Walking through a ramshackle kitchen I was accosted with this disturbing purple vision. Now you might think it’s been used in some cute lady’s vagina, but I know better and you will too if you keep reading.

The kitchen of sorts turned into a real one, and a messy sight it was with green fern shoots joining the party.

‘The Gay Man’s House’ boasted plenty of items, and this former wooden decorated kitchen would have looked quite nice once.

... if you can disregard the odd cupboard door that has been ripped off its hinges.

Maybe we had managed to get ‘early’ as most items were still sitting on the shelves, not smashed, cracked and intact. It made for a pleasant change.

If you own tapes, then you are not young. The under-30s likely won't have seen these in action before, as tape players and recorders are far from common now.

As much as I was tempted to take a seat and play, it may have attracted nosey neighbours. Subterfuge always takes priority.

I see more than a little mould growing on that 'Safeway' customer notice. Safeway is an old supermarket chain that's long since vanished from our high streets.

I wouldn't sleep in it; a little too much fungus for my liking, and what was lurking under those covers could be frightening.

If there’s a mirror, take your shot angled then you won’t be in it. I’m not here to take selfies.

The candles are for those moments when the electricity fails. To be honest, it's a very rare event now in England and I can’t remember the last time it happened.

Have a shit in style with some metal belting out from just behind your ears. That's great insight.

‘The Gay Man’s House’ appeared to have more than one kitchen area, and who’s that on the table?

Did you know a very young me once asked Margaret Thatcher for her autograph? It was that long ago that she was not yet the Prime Minister. As she's now dead, can I sell it for millions?

A rather unassuming-looking bank account and this is not where 'The Gay Man's House' is located. Ballymullen is in deepest Ireland, not Manchester.

A little dirty, but still very usable.

Interesting, that there's another Irish connection and the past owner was ‘Ms Georgina’. Was she the owner of the purple dildo? Well perhaps, but I still think not.

This room has seen better days with fungus growing everywhere and more than a little damp.

I have said it before but it's the setting for a zombie tea party revisited.

All nice and neat; I would wager they are smashed and in little pieces by now.

A stereo system from a bygone age, with a myriad of vinyl to go at.

Well…, thanks for spreading these out nice and wide for us to see. Do Russian military men do anal? That's mighty useful to know, and I'm sure the Ukrainian readers will be snorting with laughter.

A single bed, but who was the owner of these DVDs? It's likely the same owner of that dildo.

Not all explorers take kindly to such sights and one decided to take a dump on this DVD which had been separated from the rest. Fortunately, it had not been done recently.

What a classic film that is. It’s been decades since I saw it, but I do remember it making an impact on the younger me.

As if we haven’t seen enough of this bloody stuff, he’s ripping them off too.

The Gay Man’s trousers?

With that book on the bed about ‘Corporate Strategy’ he likely lingers in an office somewhere in Central Manchester.

So ‘Victor’ is the man who likes Russian dicks, and pink rubber accessories bound for the rectal passage. Victor sounds like a Russian name, don’t you think?

Or is it 'Clarice'? The document dates back to 1993, so I figure 'Clarice' could be mum. Is she also a user of dildos?

We figured that was enough raping of the upper areas. @grindle did a lot more rummaging here, but I don’t go too deep. Forgive the unintended sexual innuendoes.

Some varied reading matter. I think ‘Clarice’ could be the owner of this stack.

We left ‘The Gay Man’s House’ with more questions than answers.

• Several people have lived here, but how many were Gay?
• Did Victor join the Russian Army when Vladimir invaded?
• If so... was his intention to find anal pleasures amongst his comrades?
• Is this the real reason the house is abandoned?

So many puzzles left unsolved.

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