Tales of the Urban Explorer: Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel

'Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel'. It’s a mouthful for a pub, and despite some googling, I still can’t decide whether the prefix denotes a ‘chain’ or not. In the UK, we have plenty of those with Toby, Weatherspoon’s, and Harvester being three that immediately spring to mind.

For now, I will give it the full title regardless of whether it is deserving or otherwise. Grabbing a decent external shot of this pub was not easy. They all looked completely shit and gave the impression it was some trendy one-room barn.

Being situated next to a very busy, ‘no stopping’ road was an issue and left us little choice other than the supermarket parking on the wrong side.

Crossing over this fast moving double-lined dual carriageway was reminiscent of ‘Frogger’, we being the frogs.

…’Harvester pubs were not so bad, though still a chain. This image is from 2014 when times were better and before it changed chains. From what I read, the pub was sealed up around 4 years later’…
Source

The grounds of the ’Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel’ were not boarded or sealed, and we hopped over a low fence that took us partially out of sight from the passing motorists for once.

What was better was the front door was open. We wasted no time and got inside, gently closing the door behind us.

Did we manage to get here early for once, before the wankers arrived? It almost looked like a serene, if slightly dusty pub with just a tad of broken glass littering the floor. That could have been the remains of yesterdays drunken brawl.

The fact the back door was also wide-open was even more bewildering. I would not like to see what ’Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel’ is like now.

I know full well that those flower portraits, are removed, thrown on the floor, stood on and the cream wall behind is now full of messy, talentless graffiti. It is inevitable, and the facts were that few knew about this one.

There is a little damage to this secluded leather bound booth, and you are almost certain to gain a little mould clinging to your trousers but otherwise could enjoy a nice sticky toffee pudding while sat with your beloved.

Many staff worked here, as well as several insects that appear attached to the once staff role. Are those real bugs, or fake? It doesn’t look quite right.

A wash is all that's needed, and then Pepsi could once again be drunk from this vessel.

Next time I see one of these, I will squeeze the ‘Pepsi’ button and see what happens.

Cheap kids food, I looked around for a ‘proper’ menu.

I have always wanted an authentic ‘Pepsi’ glass and this would be the place to pilfer one, but as always I don’t think about such terrible immoral acts when within any abandoned place.

I headed up the stairs, after searching hard to find them. There was a couple of offices and as usual, they had been ransacked.

A comfortable cream leather couch, fit for a homeless person until the sealers arrived and entombed them forever.

The carrier bag looked suspect. There are much better places to dump your excrement.. surely?

This one looked suspiciously like the bosses office. If there’s a leather chair, or even imitation leather then you know that you have found it.

An inventory of cash takings? Things were hardly looking good for the ’Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel’.

Nothing unusual here besides the pitiful income. Did anyone ever eat or drink at this place?

They are not cheque books, but paying in books and shitloads of them. If only they were paying in something other than peanuts, the pub may still be open.

Minimum wage of £5.72, but that was 2014. How can one live off such shitty hourly wages? I removed some of Leanne’s bank details, they may well still be current.

The email told me quite a lot, one thing that ‘Ploughman’s Table’ was a chain, another email recipient namely, ‘Bentley Wood Farm’ is quite close to where I live. That has also closed down and is being renovated.

’Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel’ appears to be a cash-centric pub. I haven’t seen this many of those coin bags in years. Thinking 1p, 2p is a recipe for disaster. That’s not going to pay for your hookers.

@anidiotexplores came out of the ‘football room’ gagging, he’s quite sensitive to pungency and I think someone had pulled out the lizard and had an extended piss. This could well have been the best sleep, but only if you could endure the fumes.

Keys are great, but only if the doors are locked. They were anything but that here.

Descending, I noticed the odd up-turned chair. One or two idiots had already been, but not the A+ grade lot.

Those poor tea and milk jugs will never serve the punters again. It’s the end of life for you lads.

I initially assumed these were the ‘sacking letters’ being neatly prepared just before ’Ploughman’s Table, Red Squirrel’ was sealed up. Pension scheme? I wasn’t aware barmaids were offered such things!

I grimaced at the fact that many more things would soon be out of place besides the chair and a section of the settee that someone had pulled out.

If only it could be sealed up quickly then these ‘works of art’ would be saved from the masses of monsters about to descend here.

We left noticing the security cameras that were utterly unconvincing.

Some other explorers we met later in the day would be also visiting. The tour bus had started.

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