The Upbringing Rulebook

My mother had a peculiar way of training my brothers and me. Out of all her methods, I appreciated that she always supported our ambitions. This isn't usual In Nigerian society, about 80% of Nigerian parents have already planned careers and paths they want their children to pursue and they go to lengths to ensure they stay on their paths or they constantly remind you of how you failed and how you disappointed them. This act alone has led to depression, detachment and unfortunately unliving of children who felt pressured to live up to their family standards.

Fortunately, I was blessed with a supportive mother, and among all her wonderful methods of training us. This particular one helped me explore and discover my skills at the right time. I've always been adventurous with what I wanted to do, today it could be modelling, tomorrow a computer geek, a writer or a lawyer. All these parts I explored and my mother would always see the potential in each. She is my biggest supporter.

A picture of me at a tech event.
The picture belongs to me.

When I have children I want to be able to support them to the very end just like my mother did, I want them to explore different kinds of skills and discover their talents in their own time. While I'll be there every step of the way. To my children. I want to be their first and biggest supporter before the world. I'll inculcate the trial spirits in them, to keep trying to find the one that finally clicks.

On the other hand, I would not be as protective of my children as my mother was. My mother with the purest intentions, guided us from everything although it stopped us from exploring certain things at a young age, like taking hard substances, exploring body parts and a countless list. However, it heightened our introverted nature and reduced our ability to socialize. And that is a huge problem for me today. I shy away from gatherings that have huge numbers of people or people in general. I might define myself as “socially awkward” as I prefer to have my nose in a book than my hands shake another human's own.

The people that can manage my social awkwardness.
The picture belongs to me.

In the generation that we are in, you must know how to socialize and communicate with people of different classes and I struggle with that. An example I would list is a recent tech event I attended. I missed a lot of prizes because I was too scared to raise my hand or leave the comfort of my seat to stand in front of hundreds of people. So, if I have children in future, I would like to expose them to public gatherings, involve them in extracurricular activities and try to build that socializing presence in them. In these ways, they can make valuable connections, gain knowledge and not miss out on life-changing opportunities because of stage fright and fear of socialization.

Rare picture of me, socialising.
The picture belongs to me.

In summary, I loved my mother's supportive nature and I believe it played a huge role in making me who I am today, therefore I believe it's only right to raise my future children in the same manner, on the other hand, I would try to reduce the level of protectiveness my mother had on my brother's and me. More events would be attended and participation in school and church events would be highly encouraged, to build their social skills more.