Fear motivates me

As it stands, I need as much motivation as I can get. Everyone does because there are times when you need to get things done, but you can't bring yourself to do no matter how much you try. It sets us backward even when we don't realize it.

Most people do realize not having the motivation to do the things they ought to do sets them backward. They might promise to change their ways, but motivation doesn't really work that way.

There are a couple of ways I get my motivation. One of them is trying to be happy when I have something I need to pursue. But trust me, happiness doesn't come at all times. In short, with the difficulty we face every day, happiness is far from being a part of me every day. It's impossible to be happy at all times.

Someone or something will hurt me, not being able to achieve certain things because I can't afford them, hurts me. There are lots of events that will happen on a daily basis, and none of them promises to make me happy. If there's a way to cut my happiness short, I believe they will do that instead.

So, the one thing that works for me all the time, regardless of my mood for the moment, is fear. No one likes the idea of being a failure. I don't. You don't. And once it seems other people are getting ahead and I am not, fear starts creeping in. I can't stand the feeling. And every time it creeps up on me, I am forced to get things done. To think hard. To find solutions to the problems that threaten my peace of mind.

The fear of not being enough makes me go the extra mile. If I am afraid I will be broke tomorrow, I will be forced to get my work done today. If I am afraid I might lose my job, I am forced to take my tasks seriously. If you think it's a joke, I am very lazy. The few times I have taken my Hive engagement seriously have been out of the fear of running out of money.

This particular fear doesn't let me go scout free. It screams at me every day. Not being able to afford my basic needs bugs me more than anything else. It doesn't let me sleep well at night. I stay up drafting plans that I probably won't see through unless the fear is strong enough to make me act on it.

I don't wish it on anyone, but if you have ever felt some sort of fear, then you understand me.