Stop That Smacking Sound
Please stop that smacking sound,
like oars slapping water in a race.
Your tongue, pink and slavering, rolls around.
Smell of your breath, just like a hound,
crumbs caught in beard's neglected space,
please stop that smacking sound.

AI
Your lips, a mound where words confound,
masticated spittle leaves its trace,
your tongue, pink and slavering, rolls around.
Stories suffer, their meanings drowned,
in leftover bits my thoughts displace,
please stop that smacking sound.
Beneath your restless, slapping mound,
silence struggles to find its place,
your tongue, pink and slavering, rolls around.
I step back, unbound,
from the chaos of your close face.
Please stop that smacking sound,
your tongue, pink and slavering, rolls around.
.........................................................................................
This poem is based on an old boss who stood too close and always ate with his mouth open - with bits of food in his beard and bad breath too. But as he was the boss I could only plead silently.
For those technical poets out there will notice this is a villanelle.
Very nice! I had to look up villanelle though.
I thought this was a current lover who had just turned you off, forever.
That would have been funnier.
I have a relative like this and it drives me nuts to be near them when eating. I don't get how someone can grow into adulthood and still have this really disgusting habit.
I'm sorry for you to have to put up wit that.
Ah the villanelle here is perfect for capturing the infuriating, claustrophobic, inescapable repetition of someone's chewing! Ugh. I instantly recognized the structure (do not go gentle into that good night) but couldn't remember what it was bloody well called.
Thank you, you hit the nail on the head as to what I was aiming for.