RE: Do you want to live forever?
(Edited)
You are viewing a single comment's thread:
This is a very interesting and powerful piece! You've successfully blended a philosophical exploration of routine with a touch of humor and a call to action. Stanza 5 stands out for me with all the things we can do to change up our lives. I particularly like 'collect squirrels like Bobby'. Having said that I also feel this could have used more of the editorial pen. For example play around with the structure some more. I hope you take these words as encouragement - keep writing.
0
0
0.000
Thank you for the kind words. I think that you perceive it a bit rough because English is not my first language, not even the second. So sometimes I think in a different language and write in English, and native speakers can see that. Or so I was told.