Challenges In Maintaining Relationships As A Minimalist|| Kiss #175

I believe that many people often see those with the minimalist lifestyle as people who lack. Some don't even associate minimalism with happiness, rather they see it as barely living or surviving.

Some non-minimalist people I have come in contact with would ask me, “Who doesn't like to look good?”, “ Who doesn't like fine things?” and so on and when they see me wearing fine things and looking good, they go on saying “I thought you said you are a minimalist?”. Sigh.

I have explained not only in words but with actions what minimalism is about. It doesn't mean you lack, deprive yourself of good things or live in poverty.

It is choosing to have a beautiful and serene environment in your mind and in your space. Not having to bother yourself about having it all, decluttering in order to be able to breathe and have an organized place, all the while giving yourself the time to focus on things that are more valuable and can improve your life positively.

I remembered a time I was decluttering. It was during a school holiday and I have less than two weeks before work resumes. A cousin of mine was visiting at the time and saw me arranging and rearranging things. Clothes, Bags, Shoes, Books and other household items.

I had two medium-sized cartons, one for items I want to give out and the other for items I want to discard.

“No, this sandals still looks good !”, she exclaimed, taking it out of the carton and trying to put them on.

“I know. That's why I want to give them out, since I have gotten new sandals”, I said, pointing to the new ones I had gotten.

She told me I could wear them all instead but I told her I already have enough for now so there was no point keeping two of the color hence, my reason for wanting to give it out.

She went ahead to tell me she wants to keep it for herself and I told her it's fine but when she wore it, I noticed it wasn't her size at all. It was bigger.

She insisted on keeping it till it she grows a little bit more and it becomes her size but I told her there's someone I believe it would fit perfectly. I noticed she was reluctant in putting it back into the carton so I promised I would get her a new pair of sandals before she leaves. She searched the carton for other things and took few clothes, a bag and a wig from the stand I kept it (even though I wasn't giving it out, I decide she could take it).

She made few complaints about me giving away items that are still in good condition but I explained what decluttering will do to my spirit and soul. Asides from reducing stress, it will also create more space and just keep me more organized.

Still, we argued on something she thought I should keep while I said it has to go. She kept shaking her head as she watched the items drop into the “give out” carton while I just smiled.

Then, about two days before she leaves, we both went to the market. There, she reminded me of the sandals I promised to get her and we found a shop where she chose the pair she liked which I paid for.

Then about two shops away, she sighted a bag that was hanged up and quickly dragged me into the shop.

“Oh My God, I have been looking for this colour for a long time”, she squealed in delight.

“I have the brown, black and pink colour of this bag. I need one in blue”, she explained, her eyes gleaming with happiness.

She asked for the price and the shop owner told her. Then, she turned to me and asked me to pay.

“Pay? I don't understand?. I took her to the side and told her what I promised her was the sandals and I don't have enough to splurge on her bag.

I went on telling her that even if I did have,I won't buy it since she said she already has that exact bag in three different colors.

“You won't understand”, she replied as we later left the bag shop without getting the bag.

On our way back home, she was moody and when I tried talking to her, she gave me the monosyllabic responses. I knew she was mad I didn't get her the bag but I didn't let her mood bother me.

I realized she is a hoarder and a materialistic or even a maximalist. She wants me to do what she wanted even if it goes against my own lifestyle.

She tried guilt-tripping me for not buying her the bag but I didn't feel guilty at all. I promised to get her something and I did. I can't do more than that.

When she saw I didn't let her mood bother me, she loosened up a bit before she finally left.

Thank you for reading.

Images used are mine.