[WE-189] I want to be an artist who can draw whatever I want for this weekend.

Every person has their own specialty, skills, and talent. Some spent years honing them and becoming who they are right now. Some are successful and have already reached the top, some are still in the process but have a brighter future ahead of them, and there are some who are maybe still planning for their future. I for one am still in the planning phase, unfortunately ( ꈍᴗꈍ).

It's sad, though, that my progress is really slow. But of course, I know that people have also gone through this phase. Slow progress - almost like no result at all to be shown. It is just too little, it looks like you are not moving at all. But I just wish it could also get a little faster, you know. But I know that for it to happen, I have to start with myself.

But that's the sad thing, I am not like others who are fast learners. Although I can learn some things faster, there are times that I will forget them all. And my brain lags sometimes, so I feel like there is something wrong with the motherboard of my body.

Anyway, speaking of skills, I want to be someone amazing this weekend. I want to be someone with talent or skills when it comes to art. Arts always fascinate me, so I want to be someone who has the talent for something like sketching, drawing, painting, or even digital arts. I want to be able to draw or paint whatever I want and share it with the world, like some people do here.

To be honest, I tried a lot of times to draw dresses or even parts of the human body like eyes and eyebrows as my way of just starting it. But oftentimes, I'm not even halfway through making it, I will just drop the pen and sulk because I can't draw what I picture in my head. Like, why does it look so easy in my head, but when I try it, the result is saddening? Some will practice a lot to make their skills better, but for me, I always feel demotivated seeing what I draw, and it is so ugly that I will just drop it.

So horrible! Lol. But at least I'm trying, hahaha - it's just that it's not enough trying. This is just random scribbling in my notebook, and whenever I see something new that catches my attention, like dresses, shoes, or even a face, I will try to copy it or even create something out of my imagination. But it is always a failure that makes me really feel hopeless. You know the feeling that you really want to put the idea on one piece of paper, but I just can't get it right.

There was also that time when I tried lettering, and just one design took me a lot of time to make it look decent. And when I do, I am really the happiest and most proud of myself. But the sad thing is, I can only make a decent one using my name, but if it's different words, it becomes, horrible and ugly, ( ꈍᴗꈍ)! I only perfected it using my name, but I can't make decent words using this style if it's not my name.

But why did I even want to learn this? That's because of my friend Dianne, who's really good at art and lettering. In some time, If she's bored or has free time, she will use my notebook to draw something or do some random lettering. And I really find them so cool that I want to copy them. But then, when I tried, it's an epic fail, haha. An utter disappointment when I can't even get it right. Yep, this is hers in my notebook. It is our course and our years during college that were written in there.

Dianne or Dianna, I called her Dianna as a call sign for her - just me trying to be a sweet friend, lol. So, if I can become someone this weekend, I want to be Dianna. I remember Dianna as a cool person who was really good at anything. I particularly like her talent in art and lettering with her cool design. It's sad that we lost communication now, I can't see her other art anymore. But I know she is a good artist, so I want to be like that.

This is Dianne's drawing, she gave it to me because I asked her. Yes, I know she put a lot of effort into making this, but I asked her shamelessly (≧▽≦), sue me please (≧▽≦). I mean, it is just so good that I want to keep it. It is so good of her to actually give this to me. It was sad, though, because I lost communication with her, but thanks to this week's prompt, it pushed me to send a message to Dianne.

Okay, moving on, I remember her other drawings, and they are really, really good. She really has the talent, but I think for her, it is just her hobby. She may feel satisfaction and happiness with her art. Even I feel satisfied with them. To the point that I want to have her skills or talent, or whatever it is.

I really really want to have the power to draw whatever I want, like really. I want to draw dresses, I want to draw faces of humans, animals, and, ooh, also the eyes and shoes too! OMG! Specifically, high heels. I really have a thing for high heels. I really, really want to be a capable person who can literally draw anything. I want to be able to do all of it and make my own collection. Maybe I can dream of having an exhibition too, lol. I mean, we can dream, right?

I can maybe work it out to have these skills too, but I have no determination. I hate myself for that. But if I can experience it for two days, then that's big enough for me already (人 •͈ᴗ•͈),