Should We Always Forgive? My Honest Thoughts #250

Forgiveness is something I have been thinking about for a long time. People always say “forgive and forget”, but honestly, it’s not that easy. When someone hurts you deeply, the wound sometimes feels like it will never heal. Even when you try to move on, a small part of the pain still stays somewhere in your heart.

I believe forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but it is also one of the hardest things to do in life. I have forgiven people before, even when they didn’t say sorry, and it felt like I was freeing myself from a heavy chain. But I have also experienced times when I just couldn’t forgive, no matter how much I tried, because the person never showed any regret.

For me, forgiveness is not about saying “what you did was okay.” No, it’s about saying “I will not let your actions control my peace anymore.” But here is the truth I don’t think we should always force ourselves to forgive immediately. Sometimes, we need time to heal first. Sometimes, we need distance to understand things better.

There was a time a close friend betrayed me. It broke me completely. People told me to forgive quickly so I can have peace, but honestly, I wasn’t ready. I needed to go through my pain first, cry it out, think about what happened, and learn my lessons from it. After a long while, I forgave not for them, but for me. And I can say it felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

But what about people who don’t deserve forgiveness? I think in such cases, forgiveness doesn’t mean letting them back into our lives. It just means we choose not to carry their bad actions with us anymore. We can forgive and still keep our distance. We can forgive and still protect our hearts.

I believe forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself first, before you give it to someone else. If you don’t feel ready, it’s okay to take your time. We are all human, and healing is not the same for everybody.

So my answer is no, we don’t always have to forgive instantly, but we should aim to forgive eventually, so we can live light, free, and happy. Life is too short to carry heavy grudges forever.

One day, when people remember me, I hope they see me as someone who gave love, even to those who hurt me, but also as someone who valued my peace enough to walk away when I needed to. Because forgiveness is not weakness it is strength in the softest form.


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