How I’m Learning to Control My Temper

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One thing I’ve come to realize is that in this life, we can’t avoid people. Whether it’s family, friends, work people or even strangers on the road, we must deal with them one way or the other. And sometimes, people can offend you so much that your temper will just rise without warning.

For me, controlling my temper has been something I’ve struggled with, especially when I feel like someone is talking to me anyhow or trying to take advantage of my kindness. I used to be that person that will always want to reply back, defend myself or even get angry very fast. I felt like if I don’t talk immediately, the person will think I’m weak.

There was one time that really made me rethink how I handle my emotions. I was working on a team project, and one of my teammates kept correcting me in a way that felt disrespectful. She said things like, “Don’t you know how to do simple design? Like in front of others ooo. I kept quiet at first, but after a while, I snapped. I raised my voice and we started exchanging words. It got so awkward that the rest of the team had to pause the meeting.

After that, I felt bad. Even though I felt disrespected, I didn’t like the way I reacted. I started asking myself: Was it worth it? Could I have handled it better? Or just keep silent

From that day, I started working on my temper slowly. It’s not easy o, especially in Nigeria where people can test your patience every single day from bus conductors shouting anyhow to people jumping queue and acting like nothing happened 😅. But I’ve learnt some ways that help me now:

Pause before I talk Even if I’m boiling inside, I try to breathe and wait a few seconds before reacting.

Walk away if possible ,Sometimes it’s better to leave than to say something I will regret later.and as we become of age we let go of some things

Talk about how I feel later , I try to explain my feelings calmly when things have cooled down, instead of shouting immediately.

Pray and reflect ,This one helps me spiritually. I ask God to give me peace and patience because sometimes it's only grace that can help.

I’m not perfect yet, but I’m better than before. Now I realize that not every fight deserves my energy. Some people are just going through things and project their frustration on others.

So yes, I used to have a quick temper, but I’m learning to manage it and respond with calmness, not just reaction. It makes me feel more in control and gives me peace of mind.

Because at the end of the day, na who calm down dey win.
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With love🧡🩷❤️
Hamidu yetunde