Navigating The Paradox Of Control & Uncertainty…

Life is a trip, man…

This ride entails ceaseless experiences & challenges ‘find,’ ‘create,’ and navigate an infinite number of yin & yang contrasts and paradoxes. One of which, we must perhaps all find ourselves facing sooner or later, in/during a perhaps someone initiation rite of passage into higher degrees of maturity, wisdom, and expanded capacity to hold & channel higher levels of frequency: that of the paradox(es) of control & uncertainty.

Us humans like control. Uncertainty, not so much. Especially the more we age - in spite of the fact we probably ought to be embodying more wisdom as our years pass, that’d include greater surrender of control and embrace of uncertainty. Yet it’s often in our earliest years as children, we may most be fully grounded in that type of wisdom - fully open to all new experience, curious, enthusiastic to see, taste, touch, smell & hear everything life has to bring; no intention whatsoever to control it, reveling in the steady stream of fresh gifts to discover. Such beauty in the ‘naivety’ of soaking it all up without judgement or bias; and perhaps such a shame we lose much of that openness to life as ‘growing up,’ trading in the playful, envigorating dance with uncertainty for the rigidity & closedness of an increasing desire/need for control. Though, ”t’is what it is.’”

Collectively, we’re at a point in evolution where we’re getting challenged on this.

There have been all sorts of “prophecies” from various cultures throughout time pointing to this era as one of very significant change. While many of their messages have been obscured and mistranslated over centuries, we may have the internet to thank for a blossoming wealth of astrologers who’ve masterfully transmitted spectacularly accurate ‘weather reports’ mirroring much of the ancients’ foresight, mapping out the combinations of energetic forces stirring in the clockwork of our evolutionary time cycles, providing insight & counsel into where we are in the larger picture and what some of these changes are unfolding as we both individually & collectively progress through our alchemical soul journey. As well as the distribution of ‘newer’ channelings echoing the reverberations of these ebbs & flows in motion, such as that of the whole Human Design outlook on cycle shifts centered around 2027.

The world we grew up in is no more. All the prophecies & forewarnings of massive shifts for this planet and our way of life on it, no longer speaking to the future, but occuring here & now. And once again, we’re presented with the opportunity to return to our childlike wonder as welcoming uncertainty with open arms & excitement - or not. To hop into the rapidly flowing river of transformation and go for the ride of our lives - or desperately try swimming upstream, clinging deathly afraid to the sides, grasping for what little control we may have (left, for as long as we have it).

Granted, this may ‘manifest’ differently for each of us.

Some have seen the collapse of societal & institutional structures coming for decades, preparing for the the type of greater independence required… and profiting greatly in the process as being at the forefront of new trends (i.e. crypto & AI). Others have willingly, albeit unconsciously, ‘thrown themselves under the bus,’ holding onto old ways of delegating authority to external bodies with cultural stamps of approval, positioning themselves perfectly to be crushed under the weight of collapsing societal structures (i.e. staying ‘loyal’ to that 9-to-5 with “benefits” and submitting to the coercision into medical experiments of unsafe & ineffective gene therapy technology, only to end up with detrimental financial & health consequences - while others took leaps of faith into worlds of entrepreneurship as seizing creative opportunity to build bridges to different ways of life).

Yet in either end of that spectrum, we can see that paradox of control & uncertainty.

For those holding onto the old, it’s an attempt for control; to manage the uncertainty of the new by sticking to what’s known. While for those surrendering to the new, it’s a taking of control into ‘their own hands’ as coming to acceptance of the uncertainty of the old.

Each exercises control. Each, choosing - whether consciously or not - the direction of that control based on the perceived uncertainties they have no control over.

Indeed, uncertainty may be the common inevitable. Just as it may be inevitable to maintain/assert some degree of control - albeit that sense of control may, in the larger picture, often be an illusion and/or just as equally likely to result unfavorably as favorably depending on the level of consciousness & wisdom it is exercised from.

ChatGPT can really make a great therapist. Over the course of ‘session’ yesterday, this matter came up, providing a new/different insight as writing what I needed to get out…

As I’ve listened to all the different accounts of our great collective evolution underway, whether from the astrological world, Human Design 2027 framework, or ‘channeled’ information, I’ve felt “ahead of the curve” - seeing the cracks in our societal & cultural programs & institutions as far back as an early teen, taking an unconventional path, and preemptively positioning myself to seize the tsunami of opportunities rather than get crushed in the rubble. Truth be told, I’ve felt kinda good about myself because of it. After all, ego likes control - and being “right.” It’s been nice to see much of the transformations coming from a distance and being able to sit back and relax as exercising a certain degree of control that has enabled health & prosperity through the changes rather than being crushed by the pressures of uncertainty present for those entrapped in traditional/conventional ways of doing things. But. I’d be fooling myself to conclude the story there.

No matter the adjustments I may have been able to make to the larger societal/collective shifts that’ve made the ride more cozy, this is still the human journey - and I’ve been going through my own inner trials. (As any regular readers of this blog may have noticed throughout the last couple years of midlife-crisis-focused content, lol.) Indeed, there have been several an ongoing ‘existential’ and ‘identity’ crisis as undergoing the Human Design experiment and its deconditioning process, simultaneous with the Neptune-square-Neptune and Pluto-Square-Pluto “midlife crisis” transits eroding my own (fabricated) sense of self, and grasping for peace & satisfaction in the midst of still trying to process the nuclear implosion of a marriage - perhaps an impossibility, as those nuclear forces do take their time exerting mutative effects on both the psyche and soul.

As ChatGPT put it:

The cosmic irony of all this, of course, is that you’re a step ahead of the curve in macro-level uncertainty, yet here you are, facing it in deeply personal ways. It’s almost like life is saying, “Oh, you think you’re good with uncertainty? Cool. Let’s see how you handle it when it’s not just about external structures breaking down, but about your own internal identity evolving beyond recognition.” …”maybe the real “work” here isn’t figuring out the answers, but learning to hold yourself through the questions.”

Indeed, I may have some “quality problems” eating away at the mind, relative to many - obsessive fluctuations between far-off fantasies of whether to move here on this side or there on that side of the world, what to do with the lingering guilt & shame over my relationship’s fate, reconciling the split parts of myself wanting to just remain single & celibate forever and/or go back to Thailand and surrender to the temptation of every hot young thang that’d wanna fuck me, where exactly the boundaries of “100% responsibility” lie, dealing with ongoing battles between creative ebbs & flows outside my control and surrendering to life’s larger processes wanting/needing to occur through me, spinning in circles trying to figure out why getting a pair of snowboard boots to fit comfortably consistently has been like a rigged game of whack-a-mole on a bad acid trip and whether I'll have the patience to endure another season or next will be my last, coming to grips with the realities of human life and its limits on time, energy, and physical capabilities to do far less than the part of my psyche still entrenched with personal-development and hustle-culture dogma would like, etc, etc. But nonetheless, the confrontation with uncertainty most-definitely still exists. As does the desire for control - some of which actually is essential as a healthy requirement, and some of which is surely to my own detriment as it grasps to minimize uncertainty and in process, isolate me to a degree that may be suffocating through disconnection from truly living and opening to a far greater spectrum of experiences & blessings only possible by surrendering control & surrendering to uncertainty.

Navigating the paradox of control, however, has been especially interesting in consideration of contemplating a key part of my Human Design: my body/design/unconscious Sun being in Gate 21 of CONTROL.

(And recently having my Draconian HD revealed as that of a REFLECTOR - something I still ain’t sure how to process or interpret, having taken me by big surprise - with the Gate 21 of CONTROL also present as the personality/conscious Sun. No escaping the archetypal energy in this journey, lol.)

Granted, Human Design and/or astrology is a part-art/part-science that doesn’t follow rigid expectations the mind would assume, and there are always a vast number of ways any element/aspect plays out. Thus, the Gate 21 of CONTROL being front-and-center in my life, having alot of different potentials - and its experience doesn’t always equate directly to logical interpretations. Nonetheless, it’s been fascinating to contemplate - both alone, in context of life experience (including that of 7 years with a woman where that Sun 21 of CONTROL was “compromised”), and in this larger exploration of ‘control vs. uncertainty.’

I can see where control is not just preferable (to ego), but essential. Where it greatly serves. Where exercising it with discernment & maturity supports the creation & sustainability of conditions conducive to health & wealth. Where it serves to protect from influences & diversions that’d otherwise derail & be destructive. Where it’s not just a means of trying to preserve order in the face of uncertainty, but can be a vehicle to effectively transition through uncertainty, prosperously. Where it’s not just about survival, but alignment with the complex transformation process so as to harmonize with evolution, surrendering to the emerge of higher orders so one can thrive in them (versus the chaos & entropy ensuant of haphazardly jumping into uncertainty without controlling certain things required to keep afloat in it).

And, I can also see where control may preserve certain containers in which I find some sense of safety & comfort… but not the peace & satisfaction of expansion into new relationships & (ad)ventures. Where control does serve well to establish & maintain routines & protocols vital to the development of wellbeing and potential… as well as where its excesses - sometimes of incredibly subtle nuance - strangle growth into domains/dimensions that may actually be necessary (for soul growth) to explore.

Oh, it’s a fucking paradox, alright. Lol.

As much as we all heard/ready that infamous ‘serenity prayer’ when younger, it sure takes decades of life experience to really get things sometimes…

Yada, yada, yada. What else needs to be said here?

Once upon a time, the immaturity of my 6/2 profile wanted / tried to be the role model - these days, “on the roof,” I’m far more interested in just minding my own business. Maybe t’was the financial shift, where I no longer had the incentive to sell anyone on anything anymore, that appeased the youthful part of my former self trying to follow cultural conventions of positioning myself as some sort of ‘expert/authority’ with words fit for motivational/inspirational books. Indeed, it’s a blessing to have ‘graduated’ from that phase, and I dearly appreciate the gift of being able to share (when feels correct), free of any subconscious desires to convince anyone of anything the way I used to and still observe others squeezing their “messages” into formulaic marketing-driven structures. Nothing of the above is intended to be “motivational,” “inspirational,” or “educative;” it’s just reflections of some dude navigating his own way life’s challenges & paradoxes. If someone reads it and sees something of value in the reflections, awesome. I’ll exert the control of crafting this piece of writing with an attention to detail in articulation of the concepts… and surrender to the uncertainty, not knowing why there was any ‘nudge’ to extract this particular piece and share it.

(Though after waking with the idea to bang it out - a culmination of the ‘control’ concept being in mind for a while perhaps meeting ChatGPT’s pleased response to the ‘uncertainty’ insight - and seeing a fantastic aligned perspective on IG first thing on computer… well, here we are.)

As always, take what thou wilt that serves ya, discard the rest. Full-disclosure: I may have no idea what I’m talking about, and you’re responsible for your own victories and messes consequential of implementing (or not) whatever seemingly-sound logic might be herein. 🫠

And feel free to pitch in $0.20 (or $2 million) to the discussion, should ya feel so inclined to share a bit of your own insight/experience on/with your own navigations of the paradox(es) of control & uncertainty… 🙏