The Good & The Kind

What makes a "good man" or woman? What are the requirements that one needs to be deemed as "good"?

Is a good man capable? What is his set of skills? What does he bring to the table? A lot of questions can be asked to evaluate the "goodness" of a person, but the world has always been mistreated and abused by the wicked.

Thus, is being a good person enough? In a world of tyrants and miscreants.

I would say it's not enough. Being good alone is agreeing to everything, saying yes to everyone, and slowly turning into a yes-man. Kindness and understanding, however, are superior to being just good. That being selective kindness. Because not everyone is deserving of our kindness, and not everyone has benign intentions for the good person. Which is why the incredibly good are always the victims. Simply because they think everyone around them has good intentions.

"A bad system will beat a good person every time." - W. Edwards Deming

Whether it's a bad system or environment, it will always abuse and misemploy the good and innocent.

Now, this may all sound pessimistic, and even though I do dwell in the realm of pessimism every now and then, I can assure you that there's more positivity in me; compared to the minuscule amount of dejection that resides inside of me.

It's just that life has taught me that always being good and agreeable is taken as a sign of weakness. Your patience is taken as the inability to act, protest, and fight for what's true. As if you're not competent enough to go against the domineering bully. And even though my good demeanor has resulted in constant intimidation, I never really let go of my good side. It's just that now I'm selective about whom I tolerate, and upon whom I bestow my kindness and trust.

Life has taught me from my experiences, of course, experience is the ultimate teacher. However, I've learned a lot from my father as well. I saw how his trust, good intentions, and tolerant behavior got him into so much trouble. Becoming a victim of constant loss and grief. It took him to a point where he lost all his hope and zeal. A man who was hopeful for all of life, positive in the darkest of moments, rocking an unequaled aura with a smile, had lost his vigor in his later years.

And not only has his experiences taught me, but it has affected me as well. The effect was strong simply because during my younger years I was always really close to my father; which is rare. A child loves their mother like no other, boundlessly, but even though the child loves the father too; there's always a fair amount of respect and fear present. Because how the father is the authority, and is the chief figure of a household; especially in the South Asian parts of the world. But it was the opposite for me. Because I would spend most of my childhood days with my father; visiting his office, joining him in meetings, refusing to let him go somewhere without me. That relationship did get weaker as I grew up, we just weren't as present. Yet, the love and respect will always be there.

So, I guess, from there I learned about extending my kindness wisely. Because even the good within us is limited. Thus, don't waste it on those who aren't deserving of it.

If you are kind to me, you will understand how down-to-earth I am. I can be one of the kindest people you've met. However, If you pose a threat, or seem to be discourteous, then at first I'll ignore it, on the second occasion I'll warn, and by the third time, I'll either distance myself or display an example of why one shouldn't muddle with me, or my loved ones.

“Be strong, but not rude; Be kind, but not weak; Be bold, but not bully; Be humble, but not timid; Be proud, but not arrogant.” — Zig Ziglar